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Silberio

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    The Random Post Topic

    in Members' Lounge

    Posted

    Guide about Noobs (Found it on UrbanDictionary):

    A. INTRO

    I. What is this?

    II. Defining 'Noob'

    B. COMMON NOOB CHARACTERISTICS

    I. Noobish

    II. Where to find noobs

    III. Behavior of noobs

    IV. Noob religion

    V. More about noob habitats

    C. AVOIDING NOOBS

    I. Make sure you aren't one

    II. Major noob avoiding strategies

    ------------------------

    A. INTRO

    I. What is this?

    This guide is designed to give you a better understanding of what a noob is, how to recognize them, some details about them, and how to avoid or get rid of them. It mostly applies to online forums, which are the main targets of migrating noobs.

    II. Defining 'Noob'

    Contrary to the belief of many, a noob/n00b and a newbie/newb are not the same thing. Newbs are those who are new to some task* and are very beginner at it, possibly a little overconfident about it, but they are willing to learn and fix their errors to move out of that stage. n00bs, on the other hand, know little and have no will to learn any more. They expect people to do the work for them and then expect to get praised about it, and make up a unique species of their own. It is the latter we will study in this guide so that the reader is prepared to encounter them in the wild if needed.

    Noobs are often referred to as n00bs as a sign of disrespect toward them, and it's often hella funny, but I will refer to them as noobs during this reading.

    * Usually the topic at hand on an internet forum.

    B. COMMON NOOB CHARACTERISTICS

    I. Noobish

    Often, but not always, noobs will attempt to communicate in their own primitive language, known as "n00bish." It is a variant of the hacker language that exposes them as having little intelligence or will to learn. Here is an example of some noobish. Do not attempt to comprehend it: it cannot be discerned without professionals at hand.

    stFU /../..an, i r teh r0xx0rz liek emin3m, u cna go tO EHLL OR ATLE4St help m3 wit hthIS!!111!!!!!!!1~~1!!`` !! LOLLOLOLLOLOLlOoLLOlollLL l u n00b

    Although you may find this unbelievably funny and/or annoying, it is best to restrain yourself and keep from talking back to them, as they are very territorial and easily angered. This will result in their attempted verbal abuse of you, possibly backed up by other noobs, because they work in packs when doing offensive tasks. It is not an easy task to learn this language because our intelligent accent will keep it from sounding quite right when spoken. You can write some simple noobish of your own, however, by slamming your face into your keyboard repeatedly.

    II. Where to find n00bs

    On the internet, n00bs make their colonies on forums. They migrate in waves, usually on weekends, and proceed to clog up bandwidth with stupid questions and sometimes even stupid answers. If you happen to be unfortunate enough to be on a board large enough to attract migrating noobs, there will hopefully be authority in charge who is smart enough to take extermination measures before they can make nests and larger colonies. THE BANNER HAMMER is one form of authority.

    Larger colonies can result in the mutation of some into spammers. Not commercial spammers, but pointless spammers. A noob can become one of these at any point, but the larger the amount of noobs, the more chance pointless spammers will appear.

    Off the internet, noobs appear anywhere the focus is on learning or discussing something specific.

    III. Behavior of noobs

    Since noobs are basically ignorant bastards, they have a lot in common. The most often seen characteristic is their fluency in noobish, which is why it got its own section. They will also be very self confident as if they were the absolute best at what they are in fact the worst at. Also, they are quite agressive and self-centered, and tend to laugh a lot using many L's and O's in rapid sucession (the noobish word for laughing like an ultimate retard).

    It is their instinct to assemble in packs for defense, and they often attempt to organize packs that they call teams. Unfortunately for them, teams usually result in a total loss of communication and they can often begin to fight amongst each other. These teams are quite unlike those formed by non-noobs.

    Noobs have difficulty reading English and cannot comprehend the idea of authority.

    Therefore, they have an all-out disregard for rules, basic or not. A good way to identify a noob (bad) vs. a newb (good) is to tell them (or have an authority tell them) which rule they are unknowingly breaking. If they respond with an apology and fix it, they are probably not a noob. If they react by insulting everything around them in rapid noobish and causing general mayhem, it is because they are a noob and have had a small seizure due to their inability to understand what is happening.

    IV. Noob Religion

    Noobs follow a variation of the 1337 (sometimes 7331) religion, in which they worship the number in odd rituals and put altars in their forum avatars and signatures. They often call themselves 1337, which experts say is somewhat like calling themselves godly in a human language. It's best to not interfere with their religious fantasies and practices because that can lead to a noob uprising, which can turn a forum to mush in less than a week.

    V. More about noob habitats

    Noobs often attempt to maintain their own web pages. Some common features of these lairs are a terrible lack of content, background music, lots of pointless animated gifs, and pages that say some variation of 'tHEir isnothinG H34r yEtt LOLLOLOL!111!1!!~~~!!`! 13371337', which means 'Nothing here yet' in noobish.

    They will also have large, seemingly infinite marquees of 88X31 affiliate buttons replaced with red X's scattered here and there, and possibly a hit counter showing a number less than 100. These habitats are numerous but fairly easy to avoid because only noobs link to them. So if you can identify a noob, don't go to its homepage. Simple as that.

    C. AVOIDING NOOBS

    I. Make sure you aren't one

    Note: This section is bilingual so even noobs can make the discovery if they haven't already.

    English (T4lk)-

    Read the above parts of this guide carefully. If you find yourself unable to comprehend any of it but are instead beginning to think about how great you are and how awesome 'teh 1337' is, you might want to take one of the many available online quizzes to check your noobancy.

    Noobish (133713371337)- Liek, u gott4 re3D teh gudieCAREFUl1y and tehn OMG LIEK I AM R0XX0RZ ya anD ify 0u turn into teh reTARDED u gota go 2 MY WEBP4GE LOLLOLOL!!111~11 ad check 4 warez n stfuu. if u r a n00b go2HELL LOLLOLOlROFLMFAO11!!!11!! !! a/s/l pos gtg n00b suxx0rz ur b0xx0rz OLOOOLOLLLL HELP HELP HELP 1337133713371337

    II. Major noob avoiding strategies

    The main factor in attracting migrating herds of noobs is a large, active forum. If you find one of these, look to see if it has the management to avoid noob infestation. If not, look for a small or mid-sized forum that covers the same topic so you can enjoy your time there before the noobs find it.

    Another way to keep noobs from interfering with your life is to become part of the authority on one of these forums. But that's often hard to do so you'll probably be better off avoiding larger forums first off. If you do manage to become part of the authority, however, take full advantage of it and establish extermination policies so that normal people can have a nice time without noob infestations.

    Noob Talk: LAlWAlwalwalWAWLAWLAWA!~! ~!~!!!11!!! 1M NOtttt N0000BZ

    Sexual Preference

    in Members' Lounge

    Posted

    Here, homosexuals also get mocked, and sometimes even beaten.

    I dont get why, Homosexuals are people, there isnt anything wrong with them.

    BTW, I said before, but yeah, I am straight, but I dont have that stupid Homophobic-Stereotypic way of thinking I had before :)

    Seven Nights in the Siegfried Line

    in Graphics & Writer's Pad

    Posted

    *Seven Nights in the Siegfried Line*

    By Silberio Williams

    In April 15 of 1943, a raid of B-17’s was sent to Köln to bomb a factory.

    One of the bomber’s, was the “Dwarf O’Riley”, flown by Captain Clyde O’Riley

    After about 1 hour of flying over the British channel, they finally entered Nazi territory, and suddenly, after just 5 minutes of flying over enemy territory, a swarm of Messerschmitt BF-109’s appeared from no where, and attacked the bombers.

    After 25 minutes of intense fight, about 10 B-17’s were shot down, when everyone thought the enemies left…They were wrong, some remaining BF-109’s shot down the “Dwarf O’Riley”, Clyde told the crew to leave, they jumped, but Cpt. O’riley couldn’t find his parachute, so he told the crew to just leave him, Cpt. O’Riley decided to make a crash landing, and crashed about 2 miles from Düsseldorf, he was alone in the forest…

    He kept walking north, and found a little cabin, he stayed there for some time, he knew that the Germans saw the plane crashing, but he knew that they didn’t see any explosion, he also knew…that the Germans would be looking for that plane.

    He got some things from the cabin, such as water, some food, and other useful things.

    After that, he kept walking, hoping to not encounter a German patrol, and came to a small German village where he encountered some people.

    Fortunately, those people had nothing to do with politics, so they gave him help, and let him stay…

    But when he was about to go to bed, in middle of the night, About 3 German patrol’s came, they searched all the village for the ones that crash-landed, so they told Cpt. O’Riley to hide in the basement, as he was hiding, he heard the German soldiers taking down the door, and heard those heavy footsteps, he heard the German’s screaming for “Der Amerikanen”.

    After about 15 minutes of fear, he heard the German soldiers leaving, so he got out of the basement, and asked where he would sleep, he got his bed in the basement to avoid the German soldiers to find him.

    The day after, he left them, and went to the next city, Leverkusen, but before entering, he noticed the whole city was full with Gestapo officers, so carefully, he sneaked into the Köln cathedral, expecting he would be safe there.

    The priest there tried to “communicate” with Cpt. O’Riley, which was pretty hard as the Captain did not speak German, nor the Priest did talk English.

    But the priest could hide him in a safe place, and the captain stayed there, still fearing, but he knew that he’d be safe in “The House Of God”.

    After a few hours, he noticed the priest disappeared, and heard some strange noises.

    As he was on the second floor, he looked down the balcony, and noticed some Gestapo officers, along with a few soldiers was inside, searching everywhere – That’s where the captain knew, that the Priest talked…

    He hurried to the back door, but it was locked, and didn’t know what to do – so he hurried up, to one of the clock towers, and luckily he found a rope, which he tied around his waist, and the other end on the balcony.

    He took a deep breathe, and climbed down the tower, hoping that no one would see him, but a soldier spotted him from the ground, and tried to shoot him, so the Captain tried to climb down as fast as possible, The soldier ran inside the church, and told the soldiers inside that the Captain was on the roof of the building, and they may get better view from there.

    When they got to the tower, the captain was already gone, and was running across the street.

    He found an abandoned building, which got bombed before, and hide there, as the German’s searched all around the city.

    He tried to sleep, but he was too worried about being found, and it was a very cold night…

    I started to write this for some weeks ago, and have taken me long to write so little becuase...Well, I dont really have much imagination, but once I get something, I start writing :P

    I'd consider this as the first chapter :)

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