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funniest thing ever


Mike356

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this is were the funny stories that happend to you can be posted

i had the lock wanted level cheat on, and these two cops were standin outside thier patrol car by CJ's garage in san fierro. i took a satchel charge and stuck it to one of the cops. the other cop ran to the cop car, got in the drivers seat. then the one with the satchel charge calmly walked to the back door behind the drivers seat, got in, and the driver drove away at top speed. then i remote detonated the satchel, and since it was in the back seat, the car did a front flip and landed on its roof. PRICELESS.

one time i was on my way to san fierro from LS, with the hills on my left, and on the right the channel of water and then SF airport, all of a sudden a car went speeding by with a police ranger chasing it. then the ranger hit a power pole and caught on fire. i stopped my car and watched in awe. the officer must have had a great idea. WATER PUTS OUT FIRE! so he reversed his ranger, then drove full throttel towards the cliff, i got out of my car, ran to the edge with my sniper rifle, and watched laughing as the ranger plunged into the water. unfortunatly poor officer brown couldnt swim, and drowned. the good news? the water put the fire on his beloved ranger out.

once i took the parachute and the mountain bike on mount chiliad, went full throttle for that plaque that serves as a jump, jumped off using the super bike jump glitch (the pressing circle one) and flew like a bird. after a few seconds i ditched the bike, pulled the ripcord, only to hear CJ yell "OH CRAP!!" and the he falls to his death hundreds of feet below. ^_^

one of my favorite ways to kil ltime on this game is to blow up a few cars with the flamethrower in that big bowl thing at the import export dock. then ambulances and firetrucks keep coming and you just blow them up with nades from the side. fun stuff.

what the heck... i just tried to steal a saber, but when i hit triangle, i just kept running by the driver side door, but the door opened and the guy climbed out, and then as soon as is feet hit the ground the car sped away faster than a saber can go. @_@ double you tee eff

okay, so i was chilling out in otto's autos in san fierro, putting about 8 satchel charges on the side of a truck (bobcat?) in the top floor of the showroom, and then i went all the way down, across the street, and on the sidewalk across the street from otto's to watch the fireworks. *beep, BANG* the truck comes flying through the window going like 200 km/h, and lands right on my bloody head going so fast i had no time to even TRY to move. WASTED!

what is this? dukes of hazzard? all i needed was the decals on the car and the dixie horn, and i'd have had it down packed.

i was leading two police cars through a wild goose chase in the fields hills and vallies south of san fierro airport in a brown-orange saber, and i turned onto a road that headed northish towards the airport, with that canal thin in between the cliff and the airport with the cops close at my heels. my car had a nos package, so i nailed it and ripped towards the T-intersection. omg! a packer! so i flew up the ramp with my nos, flew over the channel, and landed on the tarmac at the airport while the cop cars went straight into the canal.

YEEHAW!

a great moment was in the middle of a gang war, when i punched a firefighter, and he tried to nail me with a fire extinguisher, and he hit a cop, so the cop killed the firefighter with his handgun, and then the sound of the gunfire made the vagos i was fighting open up on the cop, killed him, and then they started walking away, like thier job was done,so i shot them in the back. ^_^

so i had just died in Los Santos and spawned at that big L-shaped hospital in north LS, and i JUST psaw when i hear a huge bang, and i look up right above me, and there, sure enough, is a cropduster in flaming wreckage on top of the wierd overhang between the two interior walls of the hospital, and soon there's a firetruck trying to put the thing out. i was like "oh SNAP! farmer bob got OWNED!"

lol. some of my grove buddies were being chased in thier voodoo by a cop car over one of the bridges over the freeway in south LS, and i hit the copcar head on, and then he reversed to the side, and through the supports and off the bridge, landing on its roof in oncoming traffic, and it got battered around in traffic till it blew up, killing both officers inside. X-D

double yew tee eff? i put on the bike jumps 100 ft in air code, jumped to get on top of a fairly high building in san fierro, and got nailed in mid air by a rustler, and it hit me into the building, then the rustler hit the building, killing me, and then the wasted hting glitched up and i was just lying dead in mid air like 80 feet off the ground. @_@ what in gods name are the chances of that? @_@ man i wish i had recorded it. i almost pissed myself laughing. it looked even funnier than that guy who got nailed on his quad by a rustler. >_< stupid lack of recording device. oh well. -_- still got it playing in my mind and its still just as funny every time. XD

kk, so i went to that HUGE building in los santos that you can enter and it has a parachute on top. i spawned a quad and put on the nos cheat and flew like hell off the side of the building doing backflips. down, down, down, and SPLAT i lad head first with the quad on top of me, bang on top og a police car, so i get the wasted text, and it pans out, and the cops get out of the car and point thier guns at me and the wasted it replaced by "busted!" and i spawn at the police station with no health, so i just die as soon as i spawn there, and then i spawn at the hospital. XD funniest thing i have ever seen.

Okay, so i had just started a date with katie, and she insulted me. so i started hitting her. lol. anyways, then she starts running. @_@ she ran down the street north of her house, past that diner, around the corner, and was heading west towards the tunnel underneath the bridge, and then she stopped, turned around, started beating the hell out of me. then i pulled out the pimp cane, whacked her once, and then she pulle dout a DEAGLE, yes, a friggin deagle, and blew me away. WASTED! wtf?

okay, so I was just in Pri|<|<le pines, and i was watching some peds cross the street. one in particular that looks exactly like will smith in his fresh prince roll (black pants, terribly 90's yellow and black shirt, shades)... anyways, I turned away and looked back and there he was, crossing the street, at walking speed, but he was drivign an infernus along the crosswalk. @_@ where the fork did it come from?!

I was going on an FBI killing rampage with my wanted level locked at 5 stars. I had almost no health left, and decided to blow up one last rancher before putting in the health code. BOOM! what happens? "hey I can read the writing on that ti-" SMASH! captain goodyear all weather radial slams CJ in the face and kills him. Had no idea a flying tire could do so much damage.

so I was doing an experiment by hopping on top of a firetruck after it puts out fires, and twice it drove to this one house in the town noth of vinewood (can't remember the name) and parked in the driveway. @_@ anywho, on another trip, a car tail ended the truck, and the two firemen got out to fight a secretary with a golf club. LOL. two on one, and..... the secretary wasted both of them and ran away. XD

I was in Las Venturas to pick up a Slamvan from the strip (before it was available on the IE list). I finally got one, and decided "okay, let's go pick up a hooker!" so I found one, and picked her up. Then I thought to myself "hey I wonder if Michelle will like me picking her up for a date in a slamvan with a hooker in it" LoL.

So, I was driving full steam ahead towards san fierro. Now, keep in mind that wonderful right curve in the road where if you miss the turn, you go flying over the cliff and into the abandoned airstrip.

So, here I am barrelling along at Mach 1 (overstatement) and I get to the bend and start a hard turn right. and... SHAZAM! the back end of my slamvan nails a sanchez going the opposite direction, so it fishtails my slamvan to the left, sending me flipping and rolling over the cliff.

Now, I begin mashing on triangle to bail, and finally crawl out on thin air and sorta push off away from the slamvan, falling through the air. the slamvan nails the ground on it's side, starts on fire, and starts rolling down the runway. I fell close enough so that I could see what was going on, and there's poor miss prostitute crawling out of the open door slower than molassus in january. BANG! slamvan explodes in mid roll, launching the prostitute the rest of the way out the door, and she goes careening into the torn apart plane wreckages, coming to a stop face down on the wing of a plane.

So what did I do?

I walked over, grabbed her cash, and walked away casually. LoL

While doing a high speed chase against the military at verdant meadows, I put in the Hydra cheat and hopped in, hoping for a dogfight against AI Hydras. So I circled over verdant meadows, strafing the barracks ol that were chasing me, and then all of a sudden a Rhino drove into a Barracks ol, glitched up, and flew through the air at me. I rolled my plane and hit the afterburners as fast as I could and the thing missed hitting me from underneath and the side by about a meter! XD LOLz0rz!

The first new funny story occured while flying a Hydra parallel to the ground near Beacon Hill. I flew down low enough and baile dout, the hydra went sailing forward, and CJ remained in a falling position, about a foot off the ground. I could even switch weapons and use the control stick to make him spin in circles in a parachuting postion a foot above the ground, just glitched there. xD

Second new funny story involved a police chase up to that famous boardwalk jump in the desert where that little wooden tower is. I had the FBI chasing me at 5 stars, right on the tail of my NRG500 as I flew towards the end of the ramp. I went sailing into the air over the huge body of water, and was almost to the other side when I see an amazing sight, an FBI rancher doing the Insane Stunt right behind me! I landed and turned to watch as the FBI rancher barely landed on the land, and started chasing after me. Absolutly amazing stunt, and by the AI at that!

ahaha. okay new funny story. I was riding around on my BMX doing my jump video, and all of a sudden some guy in San Fierro in a black tuxedo with a hardhat on started shooting at a cop.

Then the cop starts chasing him. The guy ran off so far you couldn't even see him. Finally the cop caught up to him, opened fire, guy ran off. At one point the cop shot a ped that was in his line of site. And this went on like this, racing up and down the streets of San Fierro, one crazily dressed psychopath against a slow, fat cop.

I was still walking after the cop on his endless chase of the creepy dude. It went on for 15 minutes and the cop hadn't hit him once. Since the cop started shooting, the creepy dude hasn't shot back.

After around twenty minnutes, still following the jogging cop, he was hit by a blue jester running a red light, killing him.

I then began chasing after the blue jester, shooting it with my trusty auto. I shot it and the woman driving bailed out, just in time to get run over by a red Elegy. The ensuing explosion blew the red elegy down one of the huge hills. It slid out of sight at the bottom, and when I got down there, it was gone.

I grabbed Helena for a date, drove her to San Fierro full speed and failed the date in north San Fierro.

So she gets out of the car and starts running, so I start following her. She ran and ran, me chasing her, for about 10 minutes. Then somehting happend.

She turned around and tried to fist fight me! So I ran around her in circles so she couldn't hit me, and after about 30 seconds, she started running again.

We get closer to CJ's garage in San Fierro, going south, and she runs across a street, getting hit by a Blista Compact. She gets right back up and starts running south again.

Going south, she got to the driving school and east, heading towards the docks. BANG. she gets hit by a stallion this time. SO, she gets up, keeps running east.

She finally started to run slower. I mean cmon, she ran for how long and go thit by two cars? I wouldn't be shipshape either. But she just kept on running.

15 minutes later, and she was heading north on the busy west of the stadium in san fierro. then, the unthinkable happened..

She suddenly veered left, running right off the edge and some 2-3 stories down to the pavement below, right around the stadium. Helena was finally dead, throwing herself off a cliff and comitting suicide rather than dating CJ.

xD I think I've been laughing for like 20 minutes straight now. xD

Okay, so I was flying a hydra south-east towards the north-eastern corner of Los Santos. In the very corner there, northwest of the stadium, is a raised road that drops off waaaaay down on the east and north sides. So I tried to do a high-speed landing on that road, bailed out a foot off the ground at high speed, and promptly died.

Now my corpse slid like it was on a slip and slide. It slid all the way down the street going west and a bit south, then flew off the edge, soared over the street, and landed in the dirt on the other side of the steet there. About a 20m gap, done with my corpse, all with the "WASTED" message on the screen. LoL. That has to be some sort of record. 55 meters of corpse sliding then a 20 meter corpse gap over a street. xD

This was one of thos awesome chain-of-event funny moments. I was setting up to do a huge jump stunt on my BMX, and I hit some sort of curb thing and went flying off my bike.

My bike smacked into a ped, instantly killing him. Then another ped went running across the street to look at the body. In the process, he gets run over by a police bike.

The policeman gets knocked off his bike, then gets up and back on. Then he gets hit from behind by an old lady driving a Regina. The cop gets off the bike and starts shooting at the car. The woman gets out, and runs away screaming, the cop chasing after her and shooting. Poor Granny Smith is getting shot by cops all because of my stunting habits. xD rofl

I took Michelle to the docks in SF, upon taking one too many of her insults during a date, grabbed an NRG, made sure I had a parachute, went all the way to the Gant Bridge, then drove full torque up the support, all the way to the top as fast as I could, and at the very top, veered off to the side towards the inside of the bridge and bailed off the bike.

Then came the fun part. Engaging my parachute and watchign Michelle plunge to the pavement, miraculously getting up, and then getting hit by a Taxi and dying. xD

OWNED.

i did not do any of theses they are all done by son of korol of gamefaqs

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I had the carnaval cheat in and recruit anyone w/rokets anywho I recruited 7 clowns with rokets and m4's and we went to the highway

that has the welcome to LV sign and I wanted to give people a nice welcome to LV but I don't think alot of people are scared because when they shot the rockets and m4's they blew up a cupple of family wagon here and there then they shot a a camper and that scared the ice cream truck driver and ran he over all 7 of the terriost clown that welcomed and killed all the people that came to LV LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol:

Edited by Maddog89
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LoL this funny. In the mission where ryder follows you i put the flying cars cheat and flew to the big building in ls. The i spawned a quad and drive off from the building. Then i landed on my head and died. But ryder stayed alive and started to run around my body. But then he got hit by a police car because i had 4 stars.

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i went into area 69 with a friend. we both had jetpacks and did that little secret with the safehouse to get in. when we got there, we where in the storage room or whatever and cops are shooting us. but we are invincible. then the most f***ed up glitch happend. all these cops are in a circle aroound us. so we do the dumbest thing. we kiss. and wen we kissed, they all stoped. we where like what happend. we looked at all the cops and they where all kissing. they where froze that way. me and my friend where laughing for like an hour. when we killed them, they where still kissing. despite the puddle of blood on the ground.

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  • 1 month later...

I had 6-stars and tanks were chasing me. I got in a pay-n-spray and when i got out, i saw a soldier getting in his tank. Since i have nothing better to do, i followed the tank. The tank soon rammed into some citizen's car and both the ped and the soldier got out and started fighting. Surprisingly, the soldier must have thought that he was powerful enough without using his M4. Both of them started to fight. The soldier got pwned and the ped casually got in his car and drove off. As for me, I stole the soldier's M4 and got in the tank and drove it to a garage :P

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I basejumped off the top of the tallest Building in LS, faceplanted a lampost (on the top bit) and died.. lol XD

Once i was in a buffalo, i drifted roun a bend, with the screen blurry thing that comes on when you go real fast, did a drive by, shooting only 3 bullets, and petrol - capped a perennial! DEATH TO PERENNIALS!

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Okay, so had just got the game & figured out the trick to get into the LS airport & grabbed a plane. This is cool, I'll explore the map form the air (already discovered the rude surprise you get if you enter parts of the map not opened up). I flew over LV

& noticed a red blip on my radar closing fast.

AW SH........ got shot down over Rockshore West, plane in flames & had to bail. I'm something like a thousand feet up w/ no parachute. I came down hard. I think I bounced. Actually had 10 points of health left & armor intact. LVPD took care of that in short order.

I think the reason I survived the fall was that I did my sidework early (Ambulance, firetruck, etc).

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my friend grabbed a hunter from abandoned airstrip and flew it to highest hieght, then bailed. he parachuted instantly and then bailed it, falling around 1200 feet. he fell for about 40 seconds, then hit the ground, with about 5% of his health left. then as soon as he got up, a taxi hit him, killing him.

Edited by Zeraek
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It wasin the middle of the dessert, huge sand-storm, couldn`t see anything, grabbed a bike ( chopper ) and went forwards, `till fell in the water... couldn`t see anything in front, I ignored the map too ...

I know this is not too funny, I`ll try to remember later ...

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Zareak lol, what was your freinds reaction when he was hit by a taxi?

Another one of mine was in LV i was on the highway when i was hit by a car (taxi that i had modded with the handling editor, so it went stupidly fast) and i went flying through the air. I landed and skidded and then got back up only to have a crashing ruslter hit me l0l!

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