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"Hello Mr. M4...................................M for Motherfucker"

Lance Vance in Blitzkreig Strikes Again. LV says some funny shit.

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In the Air Tongith.

Reni "I had a few extra stitches put in down below darling. I'm a virgin shiny and new, you could be my first"

Edited by kit5pt0

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Victor "Vic" Vance

-Look, Lance... I am a long way from being a good guy.


-Are you a comedian, friend?

Lance Vance

-Ladies and gentlemen... Let's pop!

-This is the Lance Vance Dance!

Umberto Robina: So I ask you once more, are you men?

Cuban gang: Yeah!

Umberto Robina: Then why you not like balls?

Cuban gang: Because that is totally embar-

Umberto Robina: Because that's something you ain't got baby! I got a whole sackful here, tons of them! Balls everywhere, Balls to spare!

Ricardo Diaz

-I've heard lot about you, Mr. Big.

i forgot much about the game, so i got the references from wikipedia, i still remember a lot of it though :lol:

Edited by ArtSweet

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Lance: I'm the Manilla Babilla. (Or something like that)

Victor: You're a blidiot!

that one was good too, i can't remember exactly what it was though

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Blitzkreig Mission

Lance : You're on my turf now!

I'll break you in two!

My name is Lance , and you have no chance!

I know Kung-Fu!


Snitch Hitch Mission

Lance : Where's My file you mothers?

Don't make me angry!

Come on you mothersuckers!

i think lance is damn funny in the whole GTA VCS mission. ROFL :D

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Conduct Unbecoming:

Jerry: Hey, Victor Vance. Wow, anyone ever mention you have a really dumb name?

Vic: No, no one has ever mentioned that.

Also, the animal porn dialogue was funny, but too long to remember.

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Jive Drive

Lance: Hey Bro!

Victor:Lance! Why are you here?

Lance:You don't sound so pleased!

Victor:I am not so pleased.

Lance:Thanks bro, who're you expecting? What a greeting man...

Victor:Not you, someone useful.

Lance:Oh, so what am i huh? A handicap huh? Your dumb ass , low-life, no good brother?

Victor: Something like that.

Lance:Yeah well i not the one who got kicked out of the army...

Victor:No you're the asshole who gopt kicked out of the boy scout

Lance:Aw, come on man, i came here to see you and you treat me like i got herpes.(what is herpes anyway? :huh: )

Victor:Maybe that's because for the whole life you've gotten us into trouble

Lance:Aw, gimme a break man! i've changed!

Victor:ok, i will give you a chance.One chance.

Lance:yeah yeah, hey come here man, you won't regrett it baby

Lance:i love you man , and love can change the world, but vic...


Lance:i have got herpes

Victor:Get off me man. just get into the damn car

Lance:Heh heh i just kidding..

(mission start)

Victor:get us out of here lance!

Lance:is this an ideal of a welcome party??

Victor:come on move it!!

Lance:Wa-wait, where the hell am i going to?!

Victor:watch the road!

Victor and Lance:OH SHHHIIIIIIIITTTTTTT!(rofl like hell :D )

Lance:I'm just too young to die! ha ha ha!Woo!

Lance:Look out vic! that's more of them!

Lance:Do you have any friends in this town?!

Lance:Shit!They are everywhere!

Lance:One more Lance Vance Chance

Victor:Laaaaaaaannnnnccccceee you prick!

Victor:You're never driving again

Lance:i had it with you man. you put me off. you always treatme like a kid

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Renny is a blast.

"Spank me, Renny! Beat me Renny. Blow coke......"

GF walked in on that one & laughed so hard she almost coughed up a kidney.

Up my ass renny...?

I can only imagine how hard she laughed.

Erm... lemme seee.... Either...

'Meet my freind mr. M4...M for Motherfucker!'

or 'Lance, you're a blidiot'

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Boomshine Blowout

Victor : Phil? What's going on? You're a mess

Phil: I'm not drunk, i'm just resting my eyes

Victor : okay ,so , what's going on?

Phil : my boomshine is about to blow up skyhigh by a bunch of angry scumbag..

Victor : What?

Phil : Them Cholos are going to blow my liquor and there are so much of them in the warehouse one match will blow all the way to Tennesse...Tennesse here i come..

Victor: Come on man , let's deal with it...

Phil: The thig is vicky boy , my daddy was an angry man...he never ever told me i was special , in fact he used to be me...especially when he caught me staring at my sister or my cousin...you know what he said to me? he said i'm better off dead...

Victor: and how exactly is this helping?

Phil : the tradegy is ,vic , i'm just like him...i'm a drunk....i deserved to die! it should have been me instead of zack on hill 491 man....i'm coming hoooooommmmmeee dadddy....yeah daddy i'm coming hoooooommmmee...

Victor:you're pathetic...

(arrived at the warehouse)

Phil:i could have sworn i have loced this place up...

Victor:Phil! Don't open the.....


Phil:Scheming cholo bastard have booby trap my place, ain't no use running , when that boomshine blows we're all gonna die...

Victor:Get a grip! i will get your dam liquor!

Phil:i'd better put this babbies in some safe place huh?

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These are some random peds. quote (or police quotes) some of them you might recognise who says which:

"I kill you american!"

"I'm a marine killing machine!"

"I'm gonna put you in a cement mixer!"

"Let's go , sweetheart!"

"I beat punks like you since 62' "

"I don't like fighting bitches"

"you're a bitch"

"My bird friends will get you!"(lol :D )

"Bullets don't scare me son!"(oh really?)

"Please i'm an actor!"

"I carve you up real good!"

"you look dead already!"

"stop you sicko!"

"I'll beat you like a woman"

"you want a catfight , you got a catfight!"

"i slap bitches male and female!"

"the pithand is more than you can stand!"

"You know how to set the captain!"

"watch your step cause' i gonna rap"


"brokeass bitch!"

"oh!this is worst than my class!"

"you'd better shoot fast!"

"you want a fist in your face?"

"go find your body in building foundation after this!"

"lowern your weapon soldier!"

"free to fire! stand down!"

"you gonna get VD!"

"gonna spit at ya!"

"i can fight , i'm white trash"

"don't hit my face ok?"

"wanna taste payment?"

"you gonna have no teeth like me!"

"i slick you through!"

"get off my case!"

"what are you doing?"

"did you touch me?"

"don't piss me off"

"you want a stick up your ass?"

"you're messing with the motorcycle jacky!"(no idea why does the officer riding the VCPD wintergreen say that, as i didn't mess with his motorcycle lol :huh: )

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"i wanna bare back the little one"

ultimate cringe moment!

i remembered doing that mission and that quote from "Bum Deal", but i felt that the mission is a little unfair as i firstly got punched by those damn stallionz even when i start trying to avoid their attacks... :angry:

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