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Does this suck.

Dirty Harry

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This is a small song I wrote. Does it suck too much?

Talking will get you nowhere son.

After all the president has a bigger gun.

Nowhere to hide for there is nowhere to run.

You'll never die you'll never have fun.

All because your people are waiting for the chosen one......

You are ashamed of being born.

And your father is always wathing that porn.

While your mother seems to be blowing somebody's horn

It is at this moment you wished you had a gun

It is at this moment you think you are the chosen one

It is at this moment you find somehere to run.

Sure kill'em all oh wouldn't that be fun....

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No offense, but it seemed you were more worried about the rhyming than the flow, rhythm or even MEANING to the song.

I second that. Try to use a few different ways to rhyme, not just 1 or 2 ryhme schemes. Meh, sometimes i do crap like this... Well, i used to alot... in the past.... *dwells on the past* and i got pretty good at it. It comes with practice. Work at it, it'll sound better every time.

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Thanks I only needed an opinion. You are right I have to change it.

The song has some sort of meaning, it's about a disturbed boy who kill's his parents.

Really? Seriously its about that? I thought it was about a kid getting ready to kill the president or go on a wild rampage to kill everyone. Everything Rhymes too much just lay off all that rhyming of the same thing and only have 2 lines that end in a rhyme. Then it would be better. Also make it make sense more. Don't talk about the President with a big gun then go right to talking about his dad watching porn and his mom honking horns. It all has to come together all the way through.

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