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Rablo

chuck norris facts

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here are the chuck norris facts :theres xbox 360 becuase chuck norris did´nt like the other 359 designs ,chuck norris has another fist behind his beard,the viagra is chuck norris solified sperm,the tears of chuck norris can cure cancer is a shame that chuck norris can´t cry,chuck norris knows the last digit of PI ,chuck norris has played gta5 on his ps4 he says is okay,chuck norris dont believe on god, god believe on chuck norris,when god said I will make light ,chuck norris said please,chuck norris can destroy an airplane with just looking at it and say bang.If you know more leave it at the comments :coolthumbup:

Edited by Rablo

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You'll never beat ChuckNorrisFacts.com

And btw it's kinda old now, it was at least 1 or 2 years ago when this became an internet sensation, and at least 1 year ago when it stopped being a sensation :P

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Chuck Norris once went to burger king and ordered a big mac. He got one

When Chuck Norris excersises the machine gets stronger.

When the boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he always checks

his closet for Chuck Norris

lol.

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Chuck Norris makes onions cry,Hitler didn't kill himself Chuck made it look that way,Chuck Norris doesn't pay for oil they pay Chuck Norris

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Chick Norris facts might be old,but they're still funny and entertaining.Chuck Norris facts never really get old because the man is a legend and people will remember him for the decades.

Here are the facts I made up by my own,nobody hasn't heard of them before ,tell these Chuck Norris facts to your momma...

Here we go...

# Chuck Norris fucked Statue of Liberty so hard,she turned into a monument.

# Chuck Norris doesn*t drive a car,the car drives Chuck Norris.

# Chuck Norris invented a new poker style called *Walker,Texas Ranger Hold Em*.

# Every time Chuck Norris takes a dump,it causes earthquakes.

# Chuck Norris makes Tupac touchable.

# Chuck Norris will stop Rihanna*s music.

# Chuck Norris gets a free taxi ride,cause once the cab driver looks into rear view mirror,he*s too scared to ask for a fare.

# Chuck Norris gets away with drunk driving because Chuck Norris is out of the police jurisdiction.

# The reason why Santa Claus isn*t real is because Santa Claus didn't bring what Chuck Norris wanted for christmas,real santa is missing ever since.

# Chuck Norris* deja vu is broken jaws and roundhouse kicks.

# Chuck Norris was once told to go fuck himself,Chuck Norris made a lube out of this person.

# Air pollution is not caused by cars,it's when Chuck Norris smokes weed.

# Chuck Norris was once told to chill out,Chuck Norris then rolled a blunt out of this person,mixed poor kid´s guts with his weed and smoked it.

# When Chuck Norris robs the bank,he doesn't need a gun or a getaway car.All he has to do is enter the bank,introduce himself,take the cash and walk away.

# Chuck Norris can make Mona Lisa cry.

# Jesus can forgive you,Chuck Norris wont.

# Chuck Norris is ready to die,but death is not ready for Chuck Norris

# Chuck Norris met his cousin he had not seen for ages.Chuck Norris asked him *Hey,hows it goin ?* The man asked *Uh,do i know you ?* Chuck Norris said *Well let me jug your memory a bit* Chuck Norris punched the man multiple times in the face and broke his fucking neck.Chuck Norris then asked the ghost *Remembe now ?*

# Chuck Norris made James Brown feel bad.

# Chuck Norris doesn't pay taxes,the government pays Chuck Norris a tax for letting them breathe.

# Chuck Norris broke out of jail by staring at the wall

# When Chuck Norris has a bad day,he doesn't get stressed,the stress gets chucknorrised.

# The police pulled Chuck Norris over for speeding.Chuck Norris rolled down the window and asked if there was a problem.Cop asked for license and registration. Chuck said *Yea,sure*.Then stepped out of his vehicle and kicked the police officer in the head twice.

# When Chuck Norris took a flight to Bahamas ,he was asked for his ID,the clerk got a roundhouse kick to his face.

# If you owe Chuck Norris money,don't even bother paying back,he will kill you anyway.

# Chuck Norris told Run DMC to walk this way.

# Chuck Norris* childhood hero was Chuck Norris.

Edited by coffin dealer

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LOL nice thread. My friend has an awesome Chuck Norris shirt. Some facts I can remember are:

Chuck Norris doesn't teabag the ladies, he potatosacks them.

Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse, a horse is hung like Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

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To the OP:

First and foremost, way the fuck too old. Second off, your jokes would be a little funnier if they were worded a little better, and had some pauses in between them.

To the kid who "made up his own", most of them were just really fucking stupid. There was nothing clever involved in making a bunch of different scenarios that only involved a different person getting round-house kicked. The round-house is only funny when used in a clever way.

Most little kids wear Superman pajamas. Superman, wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

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