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Funny Quotes from ANYWHERE/ANything


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I've come across funny quotes alot, around the internet. Here are some

Why is it called the Xbox 360? Because when you see it, you turn 360 degrees and go back

No Dipshit its 180. If you did a 360 you'd be right back where you started

This ones from GTAF when I was asking where to find a Tug, in GTA IV:

may i ask y ur looking for a tug

Didn't you hear? Ratman, Lola and the Sprunk factory ghost are taking a cruise around the waters of Liberty City in their boat - The HMS Fingerless.

post yours

Edited by macorules94
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lol. i always laugh when i see your sig :P

family guy

Tom Tucker: A bit of breaking news. A local family is forced out of their home by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?

Diane Simmons (sighs): Ghostbusters, Tom.

Tom Tucker: No, Diane. Their insurance company. That's just stupid what you said.

Stewie: How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice litte story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protaganist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? (voice getting higher pitched) Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? (voice returns to normal) No, no, you deserve some time off.
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Eugene Mirman: So I was with this guy, and he asked me "If you were an animal which would you be?" I said "I'd be a swamp" he said "That's not an animal". So I hit him, cos I'd be a bear. But I wanted to show, not tell.

Patton Oswalt: Guess what! If you were into metal in the 80's, YOUR GAY! Damn, that shit was gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys, extra dick to go in the ear!"

Bill Hicks: "Rock stars hawing Diet Cokes! What real rock star would do something like that, you know? . . . You don't see the imminent danger, do you? You're staring at me like, "Bill, they're just musicians, and they're, you know, and they're just doing their thing, and - NO! They are DEMONS SET LOOSE ON THE EARTH TO LOWER THE STANDARDS FOR THE PERFECT AND HOLY CHILDREN OF GOD!"

more Bill Hicks: "I'd quit smoking if I didn't think I'd become one of them [obnoxious, self-righteous nonsmokers]. . . . I'm smoking and you come up coughing at me. Jesus! You go up to crippled people dancin', too, you fucks? "Well, hey, Mr. Wheelchair. What's you're problem? Come on, Ironside. Race ya!" You fucking sadist. I'll smoke, I'll cough, I'll get the tumors, I'll die. Deal? Thank you, America. "

Bill Hicks is God. King Of COmedy and all things true.

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My cousin came here, she watched Cartoon Network while i was on the pc, and i think this is what one of the character in that picture said:
Man that is uuuuuuuglyyy.With a capital..................... letter.

Го рече во Англиски? или Македонски :awesome:

Англиски, ептен глупо би било да слушаш звук на Македонски.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Seth Rogen in 40 Year Old Virgin.

Andy Stitzer: You guys, she's picking me up in an hour.

David: Oh, drag, dude.

Cal: She's picking you up from here?

Andy Stitzer: Yeah.

Cal: That's fucked up, man.

Andy Stitzer: Why?

Cal: Why? Seriously. I mean, look at this place, man. You gotta see this through the eyes of a woman, you know? What is she going to think when she comes in here? Look. He's got a billion toys.

Andy Stitzer: So what?

Cal: And more video games than a teenaged Asian kid.

Andy Stitzer: Okay.

Cal: [Pointing to an action figure on a shelf] Is that the Six Million Dollar Man's boss?

Andy Stitzer: That's Oscar Goldman.

Cal: Why do you have that?

Andy Stitzer: That's worth a lot of money. That's much more valuable than Steve Austin.

Cal: Well, that may be the case. But none of this shit is sexy, okay?

Andy Stitzer: I'm not trying to be sexy, man.

Cal: [Pointing to a framed poster] I mean, seriously, Asia? You framed an Asia poster? How hard did the people at the frame store laugh when you brought this in?

Andy Stitzer: They did not laugh at me.

David: Know why you're gay? Because you like Asia.

Andy Stitzer: You guys cool it with the gay. You know, she's on her way over here, okay?

Cal: First, you relax, okay?

Andy Stitzer: Just stop calming me down and tell me what I should do.

Cal: Okay, we just take everything that's embarrassing and we move it out of here so it doesn't look like you live in Neverland Ranch.

haha "Is that the Six Million Dollar Man's boss?" Seth Rogen is the best.

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