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Spaz The Great

Jokes

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Post some jokes, all types of jokes not a certain type or style.

Q: Whats the difference between a grocery bag and micheal jackson?

A: Ones white, made of plastic, and dangerous for your kids to play with. The other holds your groceries.

Q: What do you do if your tv is floating away in the middle of the night?

A: Turn on the lights and shoot that [removed]!

Ok, well unfortunatly, i have no more. Well really i have alooot of micheal jackson ones but i dont feel like remembering them. So, post you jokes, make me laugh really good and get 1,000 dollars.

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Q: What do you do if your tv is floating away in the middle of the night?

A: Turn on the lights and shoot that black!

wouldn't that be considered as a racist remark???

well anyways you already know all the jokes I know Spaz so it'd be pointless, plus a bunch of them are offensive anyway :lol:

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Ok personally i dont think this is funny but it's true :P

Q : Who suck his own penis ?

A : Biggamer132

Q : What is the most digusting thing in the world ?

A : Having Biggamer132 living

Edited by smartboy4

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No I'm just saying the mods here will probably find that offensive and ban you or something :mellow:

anyways Smartboy what the hell is your problem lately?? you've been acting like a real psyhco for the past...whatever and you seem to hate Bilbo the most out of all of us here.

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So, post you jokes, make me laugh really good and get 1,000 dollars.

Okay, I have a great one, I heard it on this really offensive site, but trust me, tell it to anyone while they are high and they will burst in tears laughing.

Okay, this guy gets out of prison, and he really needs sex. He drives to the nearest Whore house and asks the lady to be served. She replies "I'm sorry, but you'll have to wait, we're having a busy day." So he goes and sits on one of the chairs in the Waiting Room, next to him is a table, and on that table are gorgeuos looking tomatoes, the most beautiful that he has ever seen. So after 10 minutes of waiting he gets a little hungery, so he picks one up and takes a bite, it is so juicy and sweet, the best thing that man has ever tasted. While he is eating that a whore walks by and looks over at him in shock, she looks horrified and runs off. After he's finished he decides that that one was so good, that he wants another, so he reaches over to the table and pulls off a plump tomatoe. As he is eating that, another whore walking next to the other whore that first saw him, stares at him horrifingly and taps him on the arm. Enjoying the tomatoe so much he finishes his bite, swallows and says "What?"

"Um sir, what the hell are you doing"

"I'm eating these great tomatoes, do you mind?"

"Oh sir, those aren't tomatoes, those are aborted fetuses"

:mellow:

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gently caress off dis biotch!!1 pwnage! lolz

Anyway, I'm gonna post some pretty racist jokes, I dont mean to offend anyone, but if you have any ethnicity at all, you should refrain from reading the following:

What do you call a black with a peg leg?

Shit on a stick! -joe

Why do blacks always have sex on their minds?

Because they have pubes on their heads! -Bo

What does Pontiac stand for?

Pool Old black Thinks It's A Cadillac! -ricky

Did you hear the one about . .

. . the baby black who went to heaven and got his wings? He said, "God! Look! I'm an angel!", and God said, "No you stupid black! You're a bat, now eff off!"

I like black people . . .

. . I used to have some black friends 'till my dad sold them!

What does a nigress and an ice hockey player have in common?

They both change their pads after 3 periods! -ashmoor

Why do blacks have white hands and feet?

They were on all fours when God spray painted them!

Why do black people have white hands?

They were up against the wall when God spray painted them!

Why do black people have white hands?

Everyone has some good in them! -bonz

Why do black people have white hands?

It rubs off the cop cars! -bonz

Why do more blacks get hit by cars in the winter?

They're easier to spot! -brenden

What do you call two blacks on one bike?

Organized crime! -bobo

Why are blacks getting stronger?

T.V.s are getting bigger! -tim

What happened to the black who had an abortion?

Crime Stoppers sent her a check for $500! -tim

Why don't black bitchs wear panties to picnics?

To keep the flies away from the chicken! -michael

What's the difference between a truck full of baby blacks and a truck full of bowling balls?

You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork!

What does FUBU stand for?

Farmers Used to Buy Us

What does FUBU stand for?

Farmers Used to Beat Us

Why don't sharks eat blacks?

They think its whale shit!

Why do blacks call white people "honkies"?

Thats the last sound they hear before they get hit! -davey

What do they do with dead blacks in California?

Gut them to make wetsuits! -kara

Why does L.A. have so many fags and N.Y. so many blacks?

L.A. had first choice! -David

What do you call a chinese black with AIDS?

Coon Die Soon - David

What does NAACP stand for?

blacks Against All Caucasian People

What does NAACP stand for?

Now Apes Are Called People -Brandon

Why did God give blacks big dicks?

As a way to say "sorry" for putting pubes on their heads! -igor

Why do blacks wear wide brimmed hats?

So birds won't shit on their lips! -Tim

Why was white chocolate invented?

So black kids could get messy too! -Kev

What do you call a blacks car?

A 'blood vessel'. -Dean

What do you call 1,000 blacks going down a hill?

A mudslide! -robbie

What do Nikes and the KKK have in common?

They both make blacks run fast! -Jimmy

Why is there no black Miss America pageant?

Nobody want's to be Ms. Idaho! -Zeigler

What do you get when you cross a black and a gorilla?

A dumb gorilla! -Adam

What do you call a black having sex?

Rape! -Adam

How many polacks does it take to clean a bathroom?

None, it's a blacks job! -Sheeky

White folks aren't racist . .

. . we've all got colored TV's! -bob

Why do blacks hate asperin?

Because it's white and it works! -Christian

A black walks into a bar and says, "Yo! Where do all the homies hang?". The bartender says, "out there", pointing to a tree in the back. -jon

What do you call an Ethiopian on a hunger strike?

An Ethiopian! -Jeremy

How many blacks does it take a shingle a roof?

It depends how thin you slice them! -Donald

How do you get a black out of a tree?

Cut the rope!

Why don't black babies play in sandboxes?

Cats keep trying to bury them! -Donald

What do you call 60,000 blacks on a plane heading back to Africa?

A good start! -Donald

What do you call a black hiding in the woods?

A brown recluse! -Donald

What do you call a black bowling ball?

A black egg. -J

What did God say when he made the first black?

Oops! I put the pubes on his head! -J

What was missing from the Million Man March?

About a thousand miles of chain and an auctioneer!

What do Confederates do on the New Year?

Shoot blacks with roman candles and throw Confetti! -ozz

How do you get a black to wear a condom?

Put a Nike logo on it! -c

How do you keep a black bitch pleased?

Give her some fried chicken! -Andrea

What happened when the black looked up his family tree?

A gorilla shat on his face! -Steve

What do you call a busload of blacks going off a cliff with one empty seat?

A crying shame! -sean

What do you call 1,000 blacks at the bottom of the sea?

A good start! -Sebastian

What did God say when he made the first black?

Oops! Burnt another one! -Nick

Why haven't any blacks died from West Nile virus?

Mosquitos don't land on shit, only flies do! -eGod

What happened when the black looked up his family tree?

A gorilla shat on his face! -Steve

What do you call a busload of blacks going off a cliff with one empty seat?

A crying shame! -sean

What do you call 1,000 blacks at the bottom of the sea?

A good start! -Sebastian

What did God say when he made the first black?

Oops! Burnt another one! -Nick

Why haven't any blacks died from West Nile virus?

Mosquitos don't land on shit, only flies do! -eGod

Why is a black like a vending machine?

Neither work, but they both take your money! -Kyle

Why are blacks so tall?

Their knee grows. -black Hater

What do you call a bunch of old blacks in a barn?

Antique farm equiptment!

What do you call a black man with a pole in his back?

Shit on a stick! -mark

Why do they put cotton in pill bottles?

To remind the blacks they used to pick cotton before they were drug dealers! -coady

Why was the black with diarrea freaking out?

He thought he was melting! -Robyn

Why does Stevie Wonder always smile?

He doesn't know he's black. -J

What's the difference between bigfoot and a working black?

Bigfoot's been spotted! -big jake

What's the definition of Mass Confusion?

Fathers day in Harlem! -jedthrow

What do you call a black with an afro?

Microphone. -Nikki

What do you call two blacks in a bodybag?

Twix! -Nikki

Why are there only 2 pall bearer at a blacks funeral?

A garbage can only has two handles! -mike

What does a black give his kid for his birthday?

YOUR bike! -mike

Why shouldn't you throw rocks at a black driving by?

It could be your car! -mike

Why did the man take off his watch to grab a handful of jelly beans?

He was afraid the blacks would steal it!

How do we know Adam wasn't black?

Ever try taking a rib from a black guys?

What's long, dark and stinks?

The unemployment line!

Why do blacks and spics always have nice clothes, jewelry and cars but still live in shitty houses?

They haven't figured out how to steal houses yet! -Johnny Reb

Why can't Ray Charles or Stevie Wonder read?

They're blacks!

A woman meets a black guy and invites him back to her place. She handcuffs herself to the bed and screams, "Do what you black men do best!". The black grabs the TV and runs! -Alex

What's blue and hangs in my front yard? My black! I'll paint him whatever color I want!

What's a black mans fortune cookie? A peice of cornbread with a food stamp in the middle! -Frank

How does a niggress take a pregnancy test? She sticks a banana up her pussy, if it comes out half-eaten you know there's another monkey on the way! -Wo

What's 8 miles long and has a combined IQ of 56? The Martin Luther King Day parade! -Mr. KKK

What's the difference between a black and Batman? Batman can go out at night without Robbin -Crystal

What's the difference between a black and a letter?

You can send the letter back where it came from! -Ryan

What do you call a bunch of blacks neck-deep in mud?

Afro-turf

What do you call a bunch of blacks skydiving?

Air pollution! -shawn

What's long and hard on a black?

Third grade.

A black with a parrot walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, where did you get that?"

The parrot says, "Africa! There are millions of them over there just sitting around"

What does NAACP stand for?

blacks Are Actually Colored People.

What does NAACP stand for?

blacks Are Always Causing Problems.

What does NAACP stand for?

blacks, Apes, Aligators, Coons and Possums. - mike

What do you call a black waterskiing?

A top-water jig. -heywood

What would you call the flintstones if they were black?

blacks! -dave

A black, a jew and a mexican jump off a building at the same time .. who hits the ground first?

Who cares! -Chris

How do you keep a black from drowning?

Take your boot off his head. -Klaus

Ever hear the rumor that blacks are bigger than white men? How do you tell when a black is really well hung?

When you can't fit a finger between his neck and the rope! -spinner

What do you say to a black man in court?

Will the defendant please rise! -Tee

What do you call a black man in high school?

Janitor -Tee

What's the only way a person can look at a black and smile?

Through the scope of a gun! -jaycee

Why do blacks keep chickens in their back yards?

To teach their kids how to walk. -nathan

How do you keep a black from jumping on the bed?

Put velcro on the ceiling.

Whats the difference between a black and a bucket of shit?

The bucket. -Heidi

What do an apple and a black have in common?

They both belong hanging in trees.

Why don't blacks celibrate Thanksgiving?

KFC is closed on holidays. -c

How do you starve a black?

Hide his foodstamps under his work boots.

What do you call seven blacks hanging in a tree?

A windchime.

What are three things you can't give a black?

A fat lip, a black eye and a job!

What's the difference between a dead dog in a road and a dead black in a road?

The dog has skid marks in front of it. -james

What do you call a black priest?

Holy shit! -ccc

I had a black in my family tree . . .

. . . he's still hanging there!

Why are trees so close in Harlem?

Public transportation. -Chris

How long does it take a nigress to take a shit?

9 months -CJ

What do you call a black with a Harvard education?

A black! - Josh

Why are all the blacks fast runners?

All the slow ones are in jail.

Whats the difference between blacks and snow tires?

Snow tires don't sing when you put chains on them!

How do you keep a black from going out?

Pour more gas on him! - Jarrett

Why do white folks go to black garage sales?

To get their stuff back. - J

How do you keep blacks out of your back yard?

Hang one in your front yard!

What does a black and sperm have in common?

Only about 1 out of two million actually work. - John

What do you do if you wake up in the middle of the night to see your television floating in mid-air?

Shoot the black stealing it.

What's the difference between a large pizza and a black?

A pizza can feed a family of four.

What's wrong with four blacks in a cadillac going off a cliff?

A cadillac seats five! - Garrett

How can you tell a black's just had sex?

His eyes are all red from the mace.

How do you get a black to leave you alone?

Throw him a basketball! -J

What's the difference between a naked white woman and a naked black woman?

One's on the cover of Playboy and the other's on the cover of National Geographic. -obb

Why don't blacks dream?

The last one to have a dream got shot.

Theres an American airline and one of the engines is going out so they decide they need to get rid of some weight or they will crash. To do it fairly they decide to do it in alphabetical order. So they tell all of the African Americans to jump off the plane, no one moves. So they say, "Okay, all the blacks jump off." Still no one jumps. So they say, "All of the colored people jump off." Still no one jumps. Finally this little kid walks up to his dad and says, "Daddy, aren't we all three of those?" And the dad says, "Nope, today we're blackS, we aint jumpin before the MEXICANS."

A black and a spic fall from a tree, who hits the ground first?

The spic, the black never makes it because he's stopped by the rope.

There was a blackout in my neighborhood last night.

I had to shoot him before he stole everything. - stu

What would Martin Luther King, Jr be if he was white?

Alive! -Jessica

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Those were pretty funny, but you own my money anyways! I put it all in the AMOS account.

Okay, so I just sent myself like 920$, but I gave Chris $1 because we ruin his forum so much, is that all right spaz? I still need 79$ now :w00t:

-EDIT-

This post was brought to you by, the letter Five.....and Pagan :mellow:

Edited by Angry Mob Of Skitzos

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The mods can go to hell if they want to be bitches about some jokes.

Its a racist comment, if your body cant help it not to put a racist joke in your post then it just shows your asking to get spanked with my banning stick. I know the jokes are funny but you take them to far....

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The mods can go to hell if they want to be bitches about some jokes.

Its a racist comment, if your body cant help it not to put a racist joke in your post then it just shows your asking to get spanked with my banning stick. I know the jokes are funny but you take them to far....

Thats actually not true, unless you people may have forgotten, I am not completely white, I look white, but my Father was born in Nigeria, he is american because it was in an US Army Base, and my father was born to American parents.

Because I am a African American individual, you guys have no right to judge what I think. These jokes are fine, even my other black imaginary friends love them.

Its not the people who are telling the jokes that go to far, its the close minded cynics and critics who read them. When you think about it, they are just jokes, even if they make fun of "jobless spiks" or "lazy blacks" its still in good taste. If you want something really offensive, go to a Klan meeting. I actually HAVE! :lol: I live in a very poor southern Baptist town surrounded by Rednecks that "hate dem blackard and colored folk". Well, an asshole ex-mate invited me to one because his father was in it, and christ... :blink: All they talk about is exterminating jews and blacks, when I told the leader guy in Red about my Nigerian roots, he kind of got confused and said its only your blood that counts.

So to finally interpret the KKK's message, they dont hate African Americans, only blacks

Note: The text above is all complete bullshit

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man the KKK are freaking stupid...

I mena hey I'm white too but I don't plan on exterminating jews and blacks :ph34r:

That would suck to have a second holocaust... but hey at least I wouldn't be on the list to kill ;):mellow:

wait what was the topic about?

I have no idea what's goin on :mellow:

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anyways Smartboy what the hell is your problem lately?? you've been acting like a real psyhco for the past...whatever and you seem to hate Bilbo the most out of all of us here.

Eh, maybe someone is posting stuff on his name?

Or he is possesed by a demon. Could be? :wtf:

Edited by PrecisionBass

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