Spoofer Cell: Twisted Anthology fanfic

[Huckleberry Pie]

I actually have a story at Fanfiction.net, which is similar in style to Epic Movie. The whole story centers on Sam Fisher, a loyal agent of the Third Echelon, and his "movie and pop culture encounters", with appearances from many movie characters and celebrities. The parody is now in progress, but I thought of an initial storyline to fill the thing up. I also plan to have a machinima version of this, and a game, when I have the resoures to buy a new PC...

The game, on my point of view, would involve parodying various video games, with elements from Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell, Grand Theft Auto, Half-Life, Need for Speed Carbon, and other games. Most of the playable characters can use everyday objects as melee weapons, such as shoes (boots for Fisher and Ludacris and Mary Janes and the like for the kids), toilet plungers, tennis rackets, Ping-Pong balls, sausages, lollipops, alkaline batteries, leather mallets, and the like. Of course, it would involve stealth tactics, and with some rather ridiculous stuff, such as Fisher knocking out Oompa-Loompas just to get a retinal scan at them.

External links: Chapter 1: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3455452/1/ | Chapter 2: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3455452/2/

For those of you who don't get the story, here's the plot summary:

SPOILER WARNING: Plot/ending details follow.

The story is set shortly after the events of Splinter Cell: Double Agent, at the time where prices for strawberries went up, for unexplained reasons. Sam Fisher is now a wanted man, and he's now been chased by the NYPD. He had been depressed lately, after being hard-hit by the loss of her daughter, Sarah. As he was cowering in an abandoned building, he began singing a parody of the song On The Good Ship Lollipop, entitled "When You're Bein' Chased By The Cops". Lambert, his boss, then called him on his mobile phone, telling him that a guy on a Harley-Davidson sidecar will pick him up. Fisher was then sent to the Third Echelon, where he was ordered to use a modified Chronosphere and go back to the 1930s. There, he meets Shirley Temple, who was his first objective. Lambert ordered Sam to interrogate and fool Temple, just so that he could get the Golden Ticket from her.

Sam later knew that Shirley's life was in danger from gangsters, and when he saw them trying to assault the actress, he, Temple and Ludacris (the rapper whom Fisher met earlier in the story; he also time-traveled to meet King Kong) hurriedly went in the Temples' family car, and did a parody of the street drift sequence from The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift, with Ludacris and Shirley listening to the song Tokyo Drift on an iPod. The guys then lost track of the gangsters, and, as Lambert ordered, the three, with the car, beamed back to the year 2006 (actually, Double Agent was set in the year 2008), in the stadium where the World Cup took place (the parking lot to be exact). Shirley, of course, was amazed at the present time period, in which Sam replied, "Twisted history, kid, nothing else..." It was, coincidentally, the game where Zinedine Zidane had a bad time with Marco Materazzi, thus Sam and the guys hurriedly sneaked into the stadium where they watched the headbutt incident. Sam and Ludacris then laughed at the two soccer players, and then went out of the stadium and back to the Third Echelon HQ. Lambert then took the Golden Ticket from Temple, saying "Don't worry, Shirl, there are some things better than Willy Wonka...".

The three then went to Paris, France, well, to contact Madeline and to hack at Lord Covington's computer. Ludacris then convinced Madeline to go to Willy Wonka's chocolate factory, in which Sam will break into. Alexander Romanov and Yuri, two of the key characters in Red Alert 2, was also in Wonka's factory, which surprised Fisher. Yuri then said that they "weren't spreading any Soviet influence anymore" and they got the chance to be in here after they mind-controlled Velma Dinkley just to get the Golden Ticket. Tanya Adams was also in the factory, since her dad was also a former employee. Sam secretly told Yuri that they were having a mission in the factory because a terrorist group has planted a "Hot Gas" suitcase bomb, a parody of the "Red Mercury" bomb in Double Agent, After the bomb was defused, they then went to Strawberryland, where another "Hot Gas" bomb was planted, and where a hostage situation was taking place. The Care Bears and Michael Jackson made a cameo appearance in the chapter, in which Jackson was expelled from Strawberryland and the Care Bears were helping Strawberry Shortcake in getting rid of the Indonesian terrorists - the same ones who appeared in Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow. It is then revealed that Licorice Whip, one of the Strawberryland antagonists, was the instigator of the incident. Sam then asked Shortcake about his headquarters - ultimately, Lambert ordered him to spy on a meeting between Licorice Whip and his unknown accomplices, who shockingly turn out to be the Indonesian terrorists. At the meeting, Licorice Whip farted, and a firefight subsequently breaks out between his minions and the guerrilla troops. Amidst the chaos, Sam pursues Licorice Whip to the roof, where, after a tense Mexican standoff, Sam knocks Licorice Whip unconscious, parodying the Shetland sequence in Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory.

After Fisher succeeds in getting rid of the terrorists, Shortcake then joined the gang, and they went to Memphis, Tennessee, where they met Justin Timberlake - the mission has just been finished, and they had a party in Timberlake's house. After the two-hour party, they went on a stroll, but unfortunately, Shirley was hit by an errant spy sattelite, with Sam saying, "If I did this to Girl Scouts selling cookies in front of my house, this would be worse,", and Ludacris quipping, "We've shot down the Good Ship Lollipop...", and Ludacris and Justin panicked.

Spoilers end here.

So, guys, what do you think? Any improvements?