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SpiderJay

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Posts posted by SpiderJay

  1. Being new, I am also a bit ignorant. What is the shop, and what is it for?

    I've noticed that there's some stats to my left here, shop dollars and such.. What's the point of it?

    And why is the shop all sold out? How do we earn the dollars? By posting?

    So many questions..

    -Fred

  2. I was pretty hardcore for the old survival horror games, back when that genre actually meant something.

    My games were

    Resident Evil 1, 2 & 3 (Loved #2)

    Silent Hill

    Parasite Eve 2

    And

    Metal Gear Solid

    Final Fantasy 7 & 8

    FFVIII was in my opinion the pinnacle of the original playstation.

    -Fred

  3. Without a doubt, two more innuendos from R*

    One: The Exsorbeo handheld games machine. Similar to Nintendo's old gameboy, except this one is shaped like a scrotum. Oh yes, the game looks like a cock 'n balls.

    Two: The game The One-Eyed Monster. (Just the name itself should be enough, but oh no) On the teaser site (http://www.exsorbeo.com) you can play an emulated version of the age-old classic, One-Eyed Monster, where you play a deep space explorer fighting a One-Eyed Monster.

    Basically it's just a dude that can go up and down, and fire, and has to avoid this giant space-cock cumming at him. When you get hit, it even says 'Eww, it's sticky!'

    And it's damn near impossible to beat (pun intended) :lolbounce:

    Among other games were Morning Missile Crisis (Sounds like a morning hard-on crisis to me), Mortal Sin, Pocket Pool and Tonsil Hockey.

    -Fred

  4. If R* really, REALLY wants to impress my dumb @$$, they'll have brought back Maurice Chavez with the radio show 'Gardening with Maurice', as mentioned by Lazlow and some random caller in GTA 3's Chatterbox. They did put Lazlow in V-Rock, after having Lazlow mentioning in Chatterbox that he 'Got kicked off the rock station'..

    So who knows?

    -Fred

  5. Well, even if you can't rhyme, you can still read, right? Chris spelled it all out for you, if you bothered to look.

    Cluckin' Bell rhymes with fuckin' hell. And Sprunk rhymes with spunk. So, the slogan "I would like it cluckin' huge with a blast of Sprunk!" could be a wordplay on "I'd like it fuckin' huge with a blast of spunk!".

    Spunk is also known as man-juice, come, the white stuff, cum, semen, sperm etc..

    Anything else you would like clarified?

    -Fred

  6. To quote Preacher (the comicbook work of genius by Garth Ennis)..

    'Wanker; noun, one who wanks. Means yeh play wi' yerself.'

    -Cassidy

    As for the others, Transfender is a joke on Transgender, meaning both people who have had a sex-change and transvestites. If you do not understand what sex-change and/or transvestite is, maybe you shouldn't be playing GTA.

    Same thing for spunk.

    Oh, and Chris, I think you misspelled the train's name. It's the Brown Streak, not the Brown Steak :D

    I wonder if they'll pull a wordplay on the old TV-show Cops. Wasn't the early nineties Cops' heydays?

    "Tonight, on PIGS!" LOL

    -Fred

  7. I have taken a second look through the official site, and found a few more:

    The already famous Hanky Panky Point (How we missed that one on the first try is a mystery, Chris)

    Well Stacked Pizza Co. (Well Stacked? I see a resemblance to Hooters already)

    Jizzy (Of Jizzy's Pleasure Domes in S.F.) This one's obvious.

    And a little place just south of San Fierro on the official map named Missionary Hill. As in the sexual position.

    And I'm not sure, but I think the Barber Shop might contain a small amount of sexual innuendo as well. Reece's Hair & Facial? I mean, come on, would the boys over at Rockstar use the word Facial without intent..?

    <Intones his Cartman-impression> Seriouslyyy...

    -Fred

  8. About time something happened. I was beginning to worry Rockstar HQ was taken over by ravaging zombie-gerbils with an agenda.

    (Meaning that something bad and/or wrong had happened, of course)

    But now, it seems I might get my news fix after all. New trailer. Mmmm! Was that ferris-wheel moving? Zero's RC store? Too much information.

    *Shorts out and drools on the floor in a state of bliss*

    Will revive later.

    -Fred

  9. I posted that because at the time, I was 80% certain I was speaking the truth. Then I read your post here, and decided to check up on the facts myself, and found out that I was indeed mistaken, and I am genuinely sorry.

  10. I think we may have gotten off to a bad start here. I am a really huge gta-fan, I was merely not privy to that information. I based my theory without knowing that it would take place in '91. Sorry about that, and thanks for correcting me.

  11. Of course you can cash them. But you have to wait until after you have finished the mission 'The Job'. Sometime after that you will be paged by Cam, the safecracker. And then you can cash the armored vans at his place.

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