kokane Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 On Friday afternoon, my teacher went smoking shit. She started frolicking off the walls. She started eating all of our homework. Our lab teacher walked in and, believe it or not, he started going crazy! We decided that our gym teacher could handle them, so we ran high to the gym. He wasn't there! He walked out of the teacher's lounge with coffee and took 13 of drinks and went crazy. We wanted to find out what was in the coffee. We sent Spaz into the lounge. He saw scary things in there and finally brought out the coffee, drank it, and went wild. Our math teacher screamed very high and ran very wet to the office. Chris thought that the motherfucking school had gone mad. Suddenly, bright green snowflakes tumbled down. A drunk fairy shit said she could help. We killed back to our room and the teacher was still going crazy. Then dirty things started flying. And suddenly, everything was back to normal. We will never know what was in the coffee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spaz The Great Posted January 20, 2005 Author Share Posted January 20, 2005 (edited) Why must I be the one sent into the room? I'm hyper enough without coffee.... Edited January 20, 2005 by Spasmodically_Insane Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kokane Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 I'm glad to hear that it's a good thing if u know what i mean... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spaz The Great Posted January 20, 2005 Author Share Posted January 20, 2005 Not the first girl to say that. I have fast hands. If only they were more coordinated..... I could type like super extremely fast if they were more precise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 I have fast hands. If only they were more coordinated..... Hmm, I was gonna reference a joke about masturbation there but I wont I had a very stupid day. First, on my way to school I rape my guitar. So when I had diarrhoea, I had to use kokane’s. My teacher, Mr Wankface, got very homosexual at me. After diarrhoea, I missed lunch and recess. Today was the lunch lady’s specialty. They had my favorites, testicles and sperm. After school I had to go to raping practice. While I was playing raping, I slipped and got my new condom dirty. My mother was very upset. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spaz The Great Posted January 20, 2005 Author Share Posted January 20, 2005 That one is pretty funny. Raping practice, and you got your new condom dirty. Whew, good stuff, good stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris82 Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 Last Friday I went to Spaz's house for a sleep over. In their Wet Brown house, they had 3345 Dicks. I Fucked when I saw the Huge Ball Sack! Then we went into the Bed where the sleepover took place. We ate Pussies and drank Sperm. Chris's sleeping bag was Enormous. We told Ass stories. We all Shat! I got scared and hid under my Kokane-Shaped sleeping bag. The night went by very slowly. We Bitched until 3AM and slept till morning. **************************************************************** New Years Resolutions: 1. I will do my Fucking homework as soon as I get home from school. 2. I will always be polite and speak Bitchingly to my parents. 3. I will always be Shitty in class. 4. I will not throw paper Dicks in class. 5. I will not talk or Smoke in class. 6. Every Saturday, I will clean up my room and put all my Vaginas and Cunts away. 7. I will feed my pet Bear and take him for walks without being reminded. 8. After every meal, I will clear the cups, plates, and Balls right away. 9. I will help my little brother with his math homework. I will not tell him that 1 + 1 = 65656587 and that 2 X 2 is 35456437564756743. 10. I will help my little sister with her social studies homework. I will not tell her that Cleveland is the capital of United Kingdom or that Kokane was our first President. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spaz The Great Posted January 20, 2005 Author Share Posted January 20, 2005 Lol, funny shit. Maybe I should start on that Mad Lib. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 I am clever I could write a php script where you can do this, but im not writing a load of stories with blank spaces in them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spaz The Great Posted January 20, 2005 Author Share Posted January 20, 2005 OH SHIT! You could set me up a PHP script so I can make these and I wouldn't have to manually add everyone's words!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 Yes, what I could do is make it an addon for the forums, you write the stories and stuff, but it might be kinda hard to code since ive never done something like that before, but i would try Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spaz The Great Posted January 21, 2005 Author Share Posted January 21, 2005 It would be cool if all you had to do was write the story. And then the program had a list of nouns, adjectives, etc. that it would randomly replace with blanks. That way all you had to do was submit the story. And even you could do it and be surprised because you didn't choose the blanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Posted January 22, 2005 Share Posted January 22, 2005 well what would probably happen is you write a story out in full and write !blank! where you want a word to go, then when you submit it it would come up with a dropdown box everywhere where you put !blank! and in each one you can choose noun, verb, adjective etc, then submit again and its in the database of stories Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris82 Posted January 22, 2005 Share Posted January 22, 2005 This year our class is doing a special science project. We have a Giant Cock that we are taking care of. It is very Wet, and it has Red eyes. It lives in a Vagina in the back of our classroom. We feed it Semen and Condoms every day, but I think it really wants to eat my Bitch. Everyone likes our Giant Cock. One day the Giant Cock got out of its cage and started Fucking all around the room. It made a loud Thumping Noise. I think it was trying to say, "Holy Shit!" ___________________________________________________________ I just hate it when . . . Mom serves Shit Nuggets for dinner. My pet Poisenous Cock chews my Cunt. Mrs. Pothead gets mad at the class for being Stupid. My best friend Chris decides to Fuck with Kokane. I get Fatass Duty for something I didn't do. Dad makes me wear Dicks to school. My favorite TV show "Futurama" gets canceled because the station has to broadcast a news conference. People Fart into my bedroom without knocking. ______________________________________________- Are you bothered by Unshaved Pussies? Do you feel hair every day? Does your Penis hurt? Then Sloosh is for you! This Hard, Big treat is chock-full of Cum. Here is what Spaz of Cleveland, Ohio had to say about Sloosh. "I start every day with Sloosh. It's simply Sticky! Even my Cunt loves it" Don't delay! Buy Sloosh today! _____________________________ It was New Year's Day, and I was watching Shitball on TV with my friends Kokane, Tommy Vercetti Guy, Spaz, and Chris. "Hey, Tommy Vercetti Guy," Spaz said, "What is your New Year's resolution?" "I am going to learn to play the Cock," she said. "Then I am going to play it at nursing homes. I am sure it will make the residents Hard." "That's Shitty," said Kokane. "I am going to volunteer in a shelter for homeless Ballsacks and Bowls. They are so cute. How about you, Spaz?" "I am going to help out around the house," he said. "Every night, I will put the Cunts and the Pussies in the dishwasher without being asked." "I want to improve my grades," said Chris. "I will study math, science, and Fucking every night." They all turned to me. "What is your New Year's Resolution, Chris82?" "I'm not making one," I said. "I'm perfectly uh... Perfect already!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Posted January 30, 2005 Share Posted January 30, 2005 hehe very funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Posted February 8, 2005 Share Posted February 8, 2005 Actually i'm too busy to make a wacky web tale thing for the forums Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kokane Posted August 23, 2005 Share Posted August 23, 2005 ok..so Chris said I could post another story. So here it is : Letter from Ima Wolf Dear Kids, I just want to set the record straight for you. Wolves are great animals, and for reasons you may not be aware of, we wolves get a bad rap. Every time someone gets eaten or something is stolen, who gets blamed? Wolves, that's who. Wolves aren't funny. In fact, we’re quite stupid. I'm a wolf, and I don't steal! I give things away. Every year, I donate idiots to the Bush Retirement Home. And I've never killed anyone in my life. All I do is gently caress merrily through the forest. Of course, once in a while, I like to jerk off a sperm. You can't blame me for wanting to have some fun! And, as for eating anyone, that's a fairy tale. All I ever eat are shit. I know how the rumors got started. This kid, I think her name is Little brown singinghood, started saying terrible things about me. OMG they killed Kenny!! She even accused me of playing her grandmother. That's a lie! Her grandmother is too amazing for me. And as I said, I don’t eat people! If you ever hear Little brown singinghood, or anyone else for that matter, saying something bitchy about wolves, please defend me. I need all the help I can get. Your friend, Ima Wolf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris82 Posted August 24, 2005 Share Posted August 24, 2005 A new sport: My Penis and I decided to try out the newest sport at Pube. It's called Fucking Cunt. The object of the game is to kick a Fucking Cunt all the way to the end of the field. Every time you do, the fans yell "Gang bang!" and you get 120 points. The person with the most points wins. My Penis started and kicked the Cunt halfway down the field. What a shot! Then it was my turn. I picked up the Cunt, took aim, and missed completely. I felt so Hard! I tried again, and this time I kicked the Cunt all the way to the end of the field. The fans in the stands hollered "Gang bang!" I won the game! Now I am the champion of Pube! I didn't want My Penis to feel badly, so I treated My Penis to a trip to McDonalds for a Vaginas sundae with Semen on top! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ocelot Posted August 24, 2005 Share Posted August 24, 2005 (edited) A Crazy Night at the Library One night something really shitty happened at the library. The characters in the stories started humping from their books! Peter Pan climbed into Charlotte's Web and started Screwing with Wilbur the Pig! Crimson wandered into an encyclopedia and ended up lost in Africa! The craziest part was when Pamela Anderson wandered into The Sex Book and said, “Benny, I don’t think we’re in Playboy any more.” Then Ms. Bitch walked in and said, “Ooh, push harder!! Everybody back in place!” The characters fucked around the room. Just in time! The students in grade 1 came in to get books for their reports, but it was safe. All the characters were back in the books where they belonged. Here's another one. What Are Friends For? Last night, as I sat in the Closet eating penis and watching Family Guy, the telephone rang. When I picked it up, I heard a raping sound. It was my friend Crimson. He told me that he couldn't solve the 55 problems that Mrs. Shitley had assigned for homework. I'm pretty shitty in math, so it took me only 68 minutes to figure out the answers. "These problems are easy!" I told him. "Use your dildo." "It's broken!" he said. "I think my whore pissed over it." "Then you'll just have to use your fingers!" I suggested sadly. "Nipples!! You're a big help! The next time I need advice, I'll call Michael Jackson," he shouted. I don't know why Crimson was so mad. Did he want me to give him the answers? Edited August 24, 2005 by Ocelot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Posted August 24, 2005 Share Posted August 24, 2005 One afternoon kokane and Chris were walking down a wet trail, looking for kindling for their campfire. The trees were shitting and green, and there were colorful wildflowers all around. kokane and Chris began to pick the wildflowers, and after a while, they pissed so far that they had wandered away from the trail. It started to get dark. kokane began to get worried, but Chris seemed excited to have an adventure. "Look!" Chris said. "Do you see that crap? It looks like a house!" "We're saved!" cried kokane, who was relieved. Once they got closer, kokane felt very uneasy again. It didn't look like the cozy little cottage kokane had been imagining, but rather a big, spooky tower! It was about 2 feet tall, and it was covered with red ivy and moss. It was the creepiest thing kokane had ever seen! kokane said, "Chris, let's keep walking! There's no way I'm going into that tower! It looks haunted!" "Don't be such a scrotum! We're going in. I think it looks perfectly un-haunted!" said Chris. kokane was so scared that she could not open her eyes. She felt her vagina chatter as Chris opened the door. All of a sudden, kokane felt that she was not alone. She opened her eyes, prepared to see the worst. But instead, she saw all her friends and family inside the haunted tower! "Surprise! Happy birthday, kokane!" they all fucked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kokane Posted August 24, 2005 Share Posted August 24, 2005 "Don't be such a scrotum!" lmao "they all fucked" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 kokane: Were you surprised when the ass bandits lost? spaz: Surprised? You could have knocked me over with a shit. kokane: I think the weather had a lot to do with it. spaz: Yes, the field was in terrible shape. It had been raining giraffes and dogs up until the time the game started. kokane: What do you think of the catcher? spaz: He's a problem. He's out of shape. The coach should take the tigers by the penis and fire him! kokane: We don't see vaginas to vaginas on this at all. I think the catcher is in great shape. He's as fit as a scrotum. spaz: How can you say that? He got on the team by the skin of his tits. kokane: You may be right. But you and I know how it is. That's just the way the semen bounces. spaz: Well, time certainly does smell. I've got to be getting home now. kokane: See you tomorrow, I hope. It's always fun fucking the breeze with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ocelot Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 On the Track of Bigfoot One shitty day, our class went hiking along the Antarctica River. Like all bitchy hikers, we were ready for any emergency. In our backpacks, we carried prostitutes, dicks, and one whore. As we walked along the trail, Mr. Jackoff noticed a urinal colored footprint. "Do you think a dumbass made these tracks?" Mr. Jackoff asked. "No, but let's follow them anyway," suggested Skyline. We raped for hours. Then I screamed, "Let me climb up your ass!! I think I see a huge penis." "Shit!" we heard someone say. It was Hilary Clinton. "Hilary Clinton!" we screamed. "We thought you were a huge penis!" "Do I look like a huge penis? Well, as long as you're all here, you can help me look for bitches. There are lots of them here along the Antarctica River. We can take them back to school and study them under our microscopes." "gently caress!" everyone said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 Yes she does look like a penis ROFL This year our class is doing a special science project. We have a pube that we are taking care of. It is very retarded and it has sideways eyes. It lives in a asshole in the back of our classroom. We feed it semen and tampons every day, but I think it really wants to eat my shit. Everyone likes our pube. One day, the pube got out of its cage and started fucking all around the room. It made a loud fart. I think it was trying to say, "touch my penis!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris82 Posted August 25, 2005 Share Posted August 25, 2005 Welcome to The Chris82 Show! Tonight Chris82 will be interviewing Jenifer Lopez. Chris82: And here's my first guest now. Glad you could join us tonight, Jenifer Lopez. Having you on the show makes me feel Hard! Jenifer Lopez: It makes me feel Hard, too, Chris82! It's Big of you to invite me. Chris82: There's been a lot of wet talk about your trip to Penisville with Spaz. In fact, in today's The Vagina Times, Chris wrote a column about your trip. Jenifer Lopez: I read it, but that reporter made up the whole story. Spaz and I have never even been to Penisville. In fact, we haven't been out of Ohio for 2 years. Chris82: Sounds like you were framed. Jenifer Lopez: That's right. What else would you like to know? Chris82: Is it true that you own more than 99 Dicks? Jenifer Lopez: I do own Dicks, but only two. Chris82: Well folks, we're out of time. Thanks, Jenifer Lopez. I really enjoyed fucking with you! Jenifer Lopez: I enjoyed fucking with you, too! ________________ Last night, as I sat in the Apartment 3C eating Semen and watching Dick TV, the telephone rang. When I picked it up, I heard a Fucking sound. It was my Hard friend Ocelot. He told me that he couldn't solve the 9 problems that Mr. Fikklewank had assigned for homework. I'm pretty Retarded in math, so it took me only 2 minutes to figure out the answers. "These problems are easy!" I told him. "Use your Vagina." "It's broken!" he said. "I think my Penis Shat over it." "Then you'll just have to use your fingers!" I suggested quickly. "Gang Bang! You're a big help! The next time I need advice, I'll call Bill Gates," he shouted. I don't know why Ocelot was so mad. Did he want me to give him the answers? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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