Kitsune Inferno Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 Some of you may remember when I posted this last year, and the response was incredible! But nobody ever got to see Part 3 of the interview, and maybe that was a good thing. Part 3 disturbed me even. But here's a review while I think up of a something new: Part 1 Me: You all know this guy. Jack Thompson...the Miami lawyer who's hellbent on banning violent video games. And he thinks he'll do it by ANY MEANS NECESSARY. He's also has a stiffy for banning rap music. Let's see what this retarded bitch has to say. JT: Hey, kid! You need to watch your mouth! Me: And you need to staple yourself in the nuts everytime you open your mouth. First up, rap music. What the hell is your problem with one of the country's most popular genres? JT: Well, they invoke violence against police officers and women to start off. Me: Well, if that statement is at all intelligent. Violence against women and cops have been around since WAY before rap music. Remember the mob way back in the 1920's? Rap didn't come until the 70's, you dee dee dee. This part is over for now. I need to think of more material. JT: Rap music is EVIL! Me: And so is the woman who decided to have your kid. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Part 2 Me: We're back with this exclusive interview with one of the most famous ass from Miami! I'm not gonna designate this whinner's name. Jack Thompson: Uppity little brat... Me: What was that? Nevermind, I have connections to some vicious ricers. Now, what's your take on this recent surge in school shootings? JT: Video... Me: Stop right there. I know what you're gonna say. *in whinny voice* "Well, we all know that the Columbine Masscre, for example, was caused by games like Doom, Quake, and Suck Jack Thompson's Tit." Shut up. Millions of people play those games, except for that last one, and millions of kids don't stockpile guns and shoot up their school. Those Columbine kids were deeply troubled, had easy access to guns, stashed them in their room (while the parents "claimed" they knew nothing about), and made videos of them target practicing! Now, how about the time you said that the Sims charcter's were "anotomically correct" under those blurs? JT: Well, they must have modded the game before I could prove it. Me: Or your claim was full of 200-grade horseshit. I'm very sorry Maxis, I'm a big fan of your work, but these guys wouldn't know what real ass and titties were if it came up and smacked them in their faces. And about that modding thing, you mean something like "Hot Coffee"? JT: Maybe. Me: Well, guess what. NOBODY COULD ACCESS THAT FEATURE WITHOUT A FORBIDDEN MOD OR A 30 DOLLAR CHEATING DEVICE. You're probably just jealous because Mrs. Johnson won't take it from behind anymore. Oh, she will. Just not from you. 27th best time of my life. What about the time you proposed a video game idea which included killing major video game CEOs and the like? Then some guys did the idea; you wouldn't pay them so the good folks at Penny Arcade paid them (with their own money) and using your name, and you tried to get them arrested? JT: It just wasn't right. Me: How wasn't it right? I mean, they did use they're own cash. JT: Uhhh... Me: What's that sound? Oh, it's the sound of you shutting the f*** up! PA: Jack Thompson, please come to the lobby. Some angry-looking dudes with flashy tuners are waiting for you. Me: Wow, they came that quick? Well, you heard the lady! MOVE!!! *MINUTES LATER* Yeah, tie him to the lightpole. Ok, that's good. Gimmie the tire iron. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tilly Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 lol wheres part 3? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slayer Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 Very nice text I defo wanna see the pt3. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red_91 Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 That was really funnt, is Jack Thompson a real person? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitsune Inferno Posted January 25, 2007 Author Share Posted January 25, 2007 Yes, he is. And yes, is he annoying. For Part 3, I'm gonna need some motivation. And some more dirt on gaming's most hated person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red_91 Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 Yes, he is. And yes, is he annoying. For Part 3, I'm gonna need some motivation. And some more dirt on gaming's most hated person. I googled him and have read all about him, he is a nasty piece of work but I think I can tell form his perspective where he is coming from. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heavenly_Blade Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 Motivation? What about having to downgrade V2? not enough? How about him screwing every single modder in the world over? I can give you some ideas of things to do with that tire iron but they don't involve beating him with it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stojko Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 Here's some motivation. We want part 3! That was great though, and there's some info on him on Wikipedia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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