Dirty Harry Posted October 7, 2007 Share Posted October 7, 2007 Well, I had this idea, just post your comedy here so it can be apreciated. I have my small act: Do you know porn mags right? Crowd: Yeah. Why the fuck do they have text??!! It's not like you want to read about the broads, you want tits, pussy and shit. Most of porn readers probably forgot how to read!!! Sorry if it is not funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheelman101 Posted October 8, 2007 Share Posted October 8, 2007 lol sad. just err... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harwood Butcher Posted October 8, 2007 Share Posted October 8, 2007 Well, I had this idea, just post your comedy here so it can be apreciated.I have my small act: Do you know porn mags right? Crowd: Yeah. Why the fuck do they have text??!! It's not like you want to read about the broads, you want tits, pussy and shit. Most of porn readers probably forgot how to read!!! Sorry if it is not funny. There's a select few that actually read that shit. You should put that in your little "act". EXAMPLE: (Continuation) "I mean, really. You're going strong checking out these chicks and then all of the sudden you stop to read their bio. Come on!" You could add in some Dave Chappelle shit and put in some gestures or maybe add in a Dane Cook or two by going off subject from that such as "Would if the chicks were able to pop out of the magazine, how crazy would that be. I'd have like hundreds of these chicks in my room with all the mags I got." Just an example, not trying to rip off of your material and I'm not that funny anyways, just wanted to give an example. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TOXIC Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 OK, here's my attempt : If Jimmy has three apples and Mary has five mangoes, then why don't they STFU and eat them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrLlamaLlama Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 Okay folks, for one night only... It's ME! (Actually this particular 'sketch' is by one of my best mates... Friggin' legend!, but i post it here for your enjoyment.) So today i ask myself: why do businessmen carry briefcases? Every time you go to a train station, or coach depot you can immediately tell who does what merely by what they are carrying. Commuters always have briefcases. I mean... what's so great about them? They're awkward to carry, and you can't fit as much in as a regular bag. Is it just for appearance sake? Do you think that they might just be carrying them because every other businessman has one? I'd like to see a businessman with the whole suit and tie, shiny polished shoes, tie properly adjusted, and a pink holdall. Would people think less of him? Probably. Everyone is so judgemental these days... It makes me sick. I don't think society as a whole should show so much oppression to the likes of businessmen, they should be able to use whatever carrying container they desire. So let me tell all of you fuckups who took the time to hear this that the buck stops here. From now on it's time that businessmen should be allowed to have pink bags and not be judged for it. *applause* *descends into anger, bottles thrown* *runs* Okay, so it's kinda a twisted humour... meh. Don't blame me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheelman101 Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 Attempt. In life, we're gonna Cry, We're gonna Lie, And where gonna take Painful shits. It might be now, tomorrow,or even a year from now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrLlamaLlama Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 My comedy this time... 8 years ago, i tried releasing my first music single. Much to my despair, dominating the front page of the newspapers that day was the story of a man from shanghai that did two craps in 1 day... 3 years ago, i hoped to overcome this. Unfortunately, the front page then was dominated by the headline 'Two crap hero, 5 years on' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirty Harry Posted October 11, 2007 Author Share Posted October 11, 2007 NEW MATERIAL IN HERE!!!! I find life very absurd actually ya know?? Crowd: Oh yeah? Yeah because some people say life is to be with the one you love. Then others say being with the one you love his having SEX. If we combine these theories,,,,,, BAM life is all about Sex, I mean WHAt THE FUCK I guess we should call Don Magic Juan God right??! And if we think of tantric SEX it makes sense, tantric sex is eternal life and orgasms are fucking prayers, porn is GOD's way of comunicating. Is this any better? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connor Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Chav: "YAA FUCKIN' STARRTIN DICKHEADD!!" *Waving Arms* Connor: "Yes I am actually.." Chav: "WHAT!?" Chav: "WHAT!?" Connor: "What I said.." Chav: "I'll fuckin' av' ya dickhead!" Connor: "Go ahead.." Chav: "No no no, I'm not wasting ma' time, no" *Walks away shitting self* Connor: *Smiles* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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