I guess I'll start from the beggining.
Primary was awesome, I had great grades, lots of friends and lots of time to fool around, shit was simple.
Then came the fifth grade and shit was still easy and simple, 6th grade was the same pretty much. After that it all got fucked up, my motivation was zero, I couldn't really connect to other people and I thought to myself things couldn't really get any worse, I only studied the absolute minimum so that I could pass each year and now that I look back I know how much I wasted.
Despite knowing that, I kept doing the same in the 10th grade. In a new school with all of my friends( the few I had) gone, I really had a tough time. I didn't study, I didn't socialize much, I didn't do much of anything. I just couldn't accept who I really am, I was pissed at everyting but I didn't react, I was just sort of numb, I dunno). I still struggle with that, It's hard for me to accept some things and to show my feelings. And I have to show them to get better.
Now I'm in the 11th grade and I fucked up the first period of school, skipped a lot of classes, didn't study, did some tests actualy stoned but despite everything, I'm better now. Some things got worse but others got better. I don't know when I'll finally stop fooling around and do shit properly, I need something to motivate me, something to reach out to.
I'm trying to find that reason for doing shit right now, but it's hard figuring it out. Because of that my future is uncertain but when I find it I'll do everyting to grab that dream. That's my plan. A not very well thought out plan but it's a fucking plan.