mr man Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 Oh yeh, press 1 if you think this is a crappy topic, if you're obsessive compulsive tap 2 repeatedly, if you're dilusional press 3, 4 and 5, and if you think that now i'm just being stupid stay on the line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rocka91 Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 Have fun! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 ummm.... Why is this in the Music & Entertainment topic. I belive u miss interpreated by when it said entertainment. It means like TV, Movies. This topic should go in Forum Fun & Games. Mod please move this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Righty Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 I'm thinking forum fun and games. I have a dirty joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rocka91 Posted November 8, 2005 Share Posted November 8, 2005 K my bad, I'm still getting used to this site, since I'm usually busy with this stuff. Now let's hear that dirty joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sabin Posted November 9, 2005 Share Posted November 9, 2005 (edited) Q:What do you do with 365 used condems A:Melt it down into a tire and call it a goodyear. Edited November 9, 2005 by Sabin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C.O.D Posted November 9, 2005 Share Posted November 9, 2005 Doc: "Do you do drugs?" Patient: "That depends, what kind of drugs, doc?" Doc: "Medication." Patient: "As far as I know... No..." Doc: "Cocaine???" Patient: "Absolutely Not!" Doc: "Marijuana???" Patient: "YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!" I for got where or when I got that joke from... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Righty Posted November 9, 2005 Share Posted November 9, 2005 A white horse fell in the mud. It is so cold in here that I'm shaking worse than a queer trying to eat a hot dog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taime Posted November 11, 2005 Share Posted November 11, 2005 A lady walks into a bar and sees a really cute guy sitting at the counter. She goes over and asks him what he is drinking. "Magic Beer", he says She thinks he's a little crazy, so she walks around the bar, but after that there is no one else worth talking to,goes back to the man sitting at the bar and says,"That isn't really Magic Beer, is it?" "Yes, I'll show you." He takes a drink of the beer, jumps out the window,flies around the building 3 times and comes back in the window. The lady can't believe it: "I bet you can't do that again." He takes another drink of beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times, and comes back in the window. She is so amazed that she says she wants a Magic Beer, so the guy says to the bartender, "Give her one of what I'm having." She gets her drink, takes a gulp of the beer, jumps out the window, plummets 30 stories, breaks every bone in her body, and dies. The bartender looks up at the guy and says, "You know, Superman, you're a real asshole when you're drunk!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rocka91 Posted November 14, 2005 Share Posted November 14, 2005 a plane carrying explosives was going down over a town. the soldiers in the back threw out some explosives and the plane landed safetly. the soldiers are walking back home as they see a little kid cry, and ask,"What's wrong?" the kid says,"A gun fell and hit me on the head." they felt bad but just kept going on. another kid comes their way, and this one is also crying. They ask him what's wrong, and he says,"I gun hit my arm and broke it!" the soldiers felt really bad, but said nothing. They moved along, and see another little kid, only this one is laughing. they ask him,"what's so funny?" the kid says,"My dad farted and the house blew up!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 Doc: "Do you do drugs?"Patient: "That depends, what kind of drugs, doc?" Doc: "Medication." Patient: "As far as I know... No..." Doc: "Cocaine???" Patient: "Absolutely Not!" Doc: "Marijuana???" Patient: "YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!" I for got where or when I got that joke from... lol you got that off of Cheppeles show. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akuma Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 During a good manners and etiquette class, the teacher says to her students: "If you were courting a well educated young girl from a prominent family and during a dinner for two you needed to go to the toilet, what would you say to her?" Mike replies: Wait a minute. I'm going for a piss. The teacher says: "That would be very rude and improper on your part." Johnny replied: "I'm sorry I need to go to the toilet. I'll be back in a minute." The teacher says: "That's much better but to mention the word 'toilet' during a meal, is unpleasant." And Charlie says: "My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to go shake hands with a personal friend, whom, I hope, to be able to introduce to you after dinner." The teacher passed out. Another A blind guy goes into a store with his guide dog. The owner of the store says "you can't bring that dog in here". The blind man replies "this is my guide dog becuase i'm blind". The store owner replied "i'm so sorry, please, take your time". Next, the blind guys yanks his dog by the lead up over his head and starts swinging the dog around. The store owner runs over and yells "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" The blind man replies, "just looking around." Taken from gtastunting forums xD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sabin Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 (edited) The bartender looks up at the guy and says, "You know, Superman, you're a real asshole when you're drunk!" omg that was funny! I was totaly cuaght off guard by the ending setance Heres another superman joke Super man was flying around the city looking for something to do, his super vision spotted Wonder Woman lying on her back, stark naked and spread-eagle! Superman thought, "Hey, I'm Superman, so I can fly down there at the speed of light, have a quickie and she'll never know the difference!" superman swooped down at the speed of light. Wonder Woman started jerking around and got up , "What are you doing invisible man!" she said. Then Invisible Man got up and looked around frantically, "I don't know wonderwomen, but my ass hurts like hell!b] Edited November 15, 2005 by Sabin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C.O.D Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 lol you got that off of Cheppeles show. OH YEAH! I've just remembered! I think that's when the doctor was interviewing Lil Jon when Lil Jon sustained a wrist-fracture or something... Anyway, Chappelle's Show ROCKS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave1 Posted November 16, 2005 Share Posted November 16, 2005 Why did God give men penises? . So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up. . What's the difference between a paycheck and your dick? . You don't have to beg a woman to blow your check. . How is a woman like a laxative? . They both irritate the shit out of you. . What are the small bumps around a woman's nipples for? . It's Braille for "suck here". . Why do men die before their wives? . They want to. . Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women? He died laughing before he could tell anybody. . What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a pit bull? . Lipstick. . Why do women have tits? . So men will talk to them. . What's the difference between a woman and a coffin? . You come in one and go in the other. . Why do women close their eyes during sex? . They can't stand seeing a man have a good time. . What's six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild? . Money. . Why did the army send so many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf? They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days. . What's the difference between your wife and your job? . After 5 years your job will still suck. . What's the best thing about a blow job? . Ten minutes of silence. and finally... . Why are hurricanes normally named after women? . When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 ROFL! That last one killed me, i like the six inches one . Nice dave, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taime Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 A guy's in the bar when an alien from outer space walks through the door and sits next to him. The drunk thinks nothing of it, trying to maintain good inter- galactic peace, and all. The alien orders himself a drink. When he's halfway through with the drink, he licks his green finger, and then sticks the finger in the drunk's ear. The drunk's irritated, but again, in the interest of seeing there's no interstellar war, he says nothing. The alien pulls his finger out, finishes his drink, and then orders another one. Once he reaches the half-way point in that drink, he again licks his finger, then puts that finger into the drunk's ear. "Hey, Buddy, how 'bout let's lay off the ear pokin', what do you say?" Well, as you know, halfway through the alien's third drink, the alien licks and sticks once again. The drunk has forgotten his peaceful ways and says, as forcibly as he can, "Look, asshole, if you do that again, I'm gonna rip your balls off!" The alien orders one more drink. Stirs it for awhile . . . and, you guessed it, licks that green finger and again sticks it right in the drunk's ear. "Goddammit!!!" the drunk roars, and reaches between the alien's legs to carry out his threat. But there's "nothing there". The drunk's a little confused. "Man, if you've got no balls, then how do you screw?" The alien licks his finger and sticks it in the drunk's ear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taime Posted November 19, 2005 Share Posted November 19, 2005 (edited) im sure everyone has heard the joke about the monkey falling out of a tree A:he was dead i thought we could extend this to see what else fall out off the tree why did the monkey fall out of the tree? he was dead now add what is attached to the monkey a bird Edited November 19, 2005 by Taime Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven Posted November 19, 2005 Share Posted November 19, 2005 huh? i don't get what your trying to say Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taime Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 someone has moved the topic i started and now put it has a new reply which i didnt do since it was a new topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akuma Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 Well that topic shouldn't have been started as it was a joke, therefore it should go in here... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C.O.D Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 (edited) Which topic? Which Forums? Anyway: JOKE 1 Little Kid: "Why Do You Grown Ups Drink?" Drunk: "I don't know about thos other bastards, but I drink to forget!" Little Kid: "To forget about what?" Drunk: "That I drink!" Little Kid: "Grown Ups are crazy!" JOKE 2 In a Coffee Shop, there was only one bartender, and there were about 100 visitors. After serving all of them, Donald Trump came, and asked for a latt`e. The bartender made a latt`e as Donald Trump made a call. Bartender (Kindly): "Here's your latt`e sir!" Donald (Mumbles): "Hmmm..." Bartender (showing a jar labelled "TIPS") Donald: "A TIP? Here's a tip: GET A REAL JOB!!! HAHAHAHAHA" [Donald left the shop, but forgot his suitcase, his cellphone, and his latt`e.] Bartender: "He forgot his life!" Edited November 21, 2005 by C.O.D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taime Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 Well that topic shouldn't have been started as it was a joke, therefore it should go in here... that topic wasnt a joke it was something for people to add to but someones ruined it now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rocka91 Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 I told my sister's boyfriend that I thought he was "bad". He was so mad that he hit me with his purse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spaz The Great Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 I told my sister's boyfriend that I thought he was "bad". He was so mad that he hit me with his purse. Something tells me you badly butchered that joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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