SonOfLiberty Posted September 9, 2007 Share Posted September 9, 2007 (edited) Ok guys bare with me. This will be lengthy. Ok I have this friend who I have known for well over 15 years, and she's been like a little sister to us. We were always together, during our younger days, and I even tried a sexual relationship, but that never worked out. (She's 3 years younger then me) Well 2 years ago she moved away, and I was pretty crushed, even though it was a short drive across town. (She lived across the road from us) That's where things started going wrong. Just before my grandad passed away last year, she started dating here neighbour (Who was 32, and she was 17). We didn't think much of it, but then the abuse started. For about 3-4 months last year he would push her against the wall and stuff, but despite our attempts she wouldn't listen, and kept going back with him. It was on and off for a few months after, and she left him for another fella. For about 4 or so months she kept away, but she got back with him a while ago. Then she came over and told my parents, that she got pregnant, and was going to have a abortion. It was all over the place she left him, went back, just all over. She is now back with him, but we have told her that we don't want nothing to do with her, and I haven't seen her for about 2 months now. She sent my dad a Father's day card (She always reffered to him as "dad") and didn't even send her own father one. It was pretty emotional, because got sheupset on the phone. Tonight we recieved the worst news yet, and the asshole broke her nose in a fit of rage. She's scared to leave him, because he is a drug f***ed pyscho. I know this is deep, but how do you convince someone who you consider family, to leave their abusive partner? Shes still loves him, and I have no idea why. I feel disappointed, sad and angry all at the same time. She's a gorgeous girl that would have any guy take their left arm off for her, but she is caught up in a bad web of abuse, and sexual satisfaction. I only fear that this asshole is going to hurt her again, and everyone's fear is he may kill her. Edited September 9, 2007 by Dr Evil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitsune Inferno Posted September 9, 2007 Share Posted September 9, 2007 First, I'd notify the authorities. I presume domestic abuse is illegal in Austrailia, so I'm sure the cops would do something. You could also try to convince her to get a restraining order. However, if this guy is as dangerous as you claim, you may want to try to hide her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonOfLiberty Posted September 9, 2007 Author Share Posted September 9, 2007 (edited) Yeah domestic abuse is illegal over here, and I think the authorities have been notified after tonight's incident. That's another option aswell to hide her, but for some strange reason she doesn't want to comply with anything anyone says. Unfortunately she's 18, and that's the legal age for a adult, so no one can make her do anything. I personally think she's scared that he'll find her. Edited September 9, 2007 by Dr Evil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thomas. Posted September 9, 2007 Share Posted September 9, 2007 I feel Very Sorry For Her. I would notify the Police. Just to keep them aware of what is going on. It would be easy but then again notifying them could lead to some sort of Controversy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K9 Krew Posted September 9, 2007 Share Posted September 9, 2007 notify the police. Here's a story about the same thing, it was happening to my sister and she wouldn't let go, my dad hit the roof when he found out that he was hitting her, My dad is an ex member of the Coffin Cheaters Motorcylce Club, so he called up toothy and Dave and me, my dad toothy and dave payed him a visit i had to wait in the hall way but i saw my dad and toothy walk in with two peices of wood and dave with a hammer then my dad took me outside shut the door, but me being me i put my head agaisnt the door and listened to what was haepping there was alot of swearing a few lound grunts thena loud bang and sream of pain, they opened the door carryed out the tools and they lefty him a message. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slyde Posted September 9, 2007 Share Posted September 9, 2007 Wow..thats deep. Since you also live in Australia, i'm sure you have watched the ad about violence against woman. Since you know her so well, you've got to notify the police/that hotline from the ad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K9 Krew Posted September 9, 2007 Share Posted September 9, 2007 Yeah it was pretty hectic that toothy guy is in jail now for assult charges. Seriously man, notify the police. She may say things like i hate you and i was happy before this, to you and all that but thats just raw emotions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Urbanoutlaw Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 The worst part is even after the cops get involved, she will probably still go back. There's a lot of weird psychology here. The biggest step is that she needs to get over her fear of him & some serious psychological counseling. She probably thinks she deserves this (it's more common than you would think) & has dependency issues as opposed to actually being in love w/ him. I could tie up the entire forum for months just discussing it. If he's into drugs, she could turn him in (I presume you have something like "WE-TIP" or "Crime Stoppers), especially if he's dealing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonOfLiberty Posted September 10, 2007 Author Share Posted September 10, 2007 Thankyou for all your help guys. She needs counselling bad, but we have to do the hard part, and that's trying to convince her to leave him. There's no possible way she can say she still loves him. Not for the world. As token of my apreciation (Even though it's pretty lame) I'm going to give each of you $500 from my bank account. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little_Chestnut Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 All of this is easier said than done. Trust me ... there is almost nothing you can do to help her unless she wants the help. If not she will just keep on going back to him no matter what he does. The best thing you can do is call the police on him when he does do something and be supportive to her. It hurts I know but it is the only thing that will work if she is in as deep as you imply. Keep on trying to raise her self esteem and self worth. Unfortunately until she wakes up and realizes that this is very wrong nothing you do is really going to help much at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonOfLiberty Posted September 10, 2007 Author Share Posted September 10, 2007 (edited) Unfortunately until she wakes up and realizes that this is very wrong nothing you do is really going to help much at all. Exactly, love. I personally haven't spoken to her about it, mainly because it's been my parents and her parents. I have been her source for comfort in the past though, because I was the first person she had a emotional bond with. I don't know what I would say, honestly. It's a very serious matter, that I've never had to face with anyone that's been close to me before. Edited September 10, 2007 by Dr Evil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spaz The Great Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 Exactly as Chestnut said, there's pretty much nothing you can do about it. One of my cousins continuously went back to her abusive boyfriend after the entire family helped move her out and give her a place to stay and everything. Sometimes people are too stupid/dependent/blind/self-abusive/etc. and you can't really help them. She'll learn((or she won't)) the hard way. Just as much as she has to accept that he's a dickwad and she needs to not fear him, you need to accept that she has to learn this on her own or she won't believe it((or do anything about it, at least)). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
draftermatt Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 You can't help someone who won't help themselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Urbanoutlaw Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 The toughest, strongest person I've ever known is sitting next to me playing around on my laptop. She's survived things no one should ever see. She fears nothing. Except her psycho ex. I never could understand how someone could treat the person they "love" that way, it's just alien to me. All you can do is be there for them until they're ready to change things for themselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charger Posted September 27, 2007 Share Posted September 27, 2007 To be honest with you, I would just crack him from the back.... Its the best way, but that can also hurt the girl... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holster Posted September 27, 2007 Share Posted September 27, 2007 Hm..this is tough. You could report him to the police, although this could make her angry against you, or she might not be angry, she might be relieved. She might not have told the police because he could abuse her more for telling on him. It must hurt seeing a good friend who you consider as being part of your family in this situation. You could try The Jeremy Kyle Show, I'm serious, this could get resolved, Jeremy Kyle is great at what he does and could give her boyfriend help to calm him down, or speak to your friend and tell her that he's not worth it. I really hope everything works out ok, and hope your friend recovers quick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marty Jay Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 i think you need to do whatever you can to get her away from this guy. she may hate you for it to start with, but eventualy she will realise that this man was no good. good luck and i hope it all works out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonOfLiberty Posted October 2, 2007 Author Share Posted October 2, 2007 We finally got some good news. The asshole now has to attend Anger Management theropy. It's a start atleast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Urbanoutlaw Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 Well, that's a start. Hope it works out for your friend, but she still needs to get away from him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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