lil' nine Posted July 4, 2005 Share Posted July 4, 2005 Warning: The story you are about to read is very grose.QUOTE The Lobster Story One morning around 5am 22 year old Susan DeLucci of Kittery, Maine, woke up with a painful need to urinate. At first she thought she had diarrhea, but when she stood up out of bed, she realized that it was urinary pain. It was very similar to the feeling of having diarrhea, just out the wrong hole. She wobbled to the toilet and upon sitting on it, her vagina erupted into the most horrific messy farting noise anyone has ever heard. In paralyzing pain, Ms. DeLucci for the next few minutes continued to push and squirt out of her vagina a burning tide of wretch and filth while she gripped the sides of the toilet, white-knuckled. She was screaming wildly, and the neighbors called the police. When medics arrived they found Ms. DeNucci unconscious lying on the floor of her bathroom wearing nothing but her bath robe. Running down her leg, was a stream of brown and green syrup. The medic had to transfer her to a stretcher, so he grabbed her left leg which was bent crossing her other leg, to straighten her out. She was lying there all twisted up. When he lifted her left leg to straighten her body out, he exposed her vagina at which point a creature, no larger than the tip of a finger wormed its way out of her genitals and landed on the floor with a wet popping sound. Shocked, the medic stared at the creature that was lying on the tile bathroom floor in a casing of mucous. It was a tiny mud shrimp and it sat there on the cold floor gasping for water while flipping itself back and forth. The horrified medic turned to the toilet as he felt the nausea setting in. When he put his face down into the toilet to puke what he saw was so horrific that to this day he cannot look into a toilet without convulsing. The entire toilet bowl was boiling with baby brown mud shrimp flipping and splashing at a furious pace. If you think that is bad - wait until you hear how it happened: Ms. DeLucci's death was the result of a combination of shock and severe head trauma. She stood up over the toilet in pain and when she saw what she had done, she went into shock and fell, smashing her head on the toilet and then on the floor. It is believed by police that two nights before the accident she had purchased a live lobster at a fish market. While lying in a tub, she gently inserted the creature's tail into her vagina to derive physical pleasure. At that point, she held a lighter under the creature's face causing it to flip its tail in a violent snapping motion. The medics found a lesbian XXX video in the VCR and the TV was positioned on a table in front of the tub. The lobster was found in the kitchen garbage can wrapped in a paper bag. Traces of Ms. DeLucci's DNA were found on the lobster along with pubic hairs that had wedged themselves between the lobsters' tail joints. The lobster's face was lightly burned with the same fuel used in lighters. The lobster's digestive track and colon were found to be full of mud shrimp egg casings. Doctors believe that the lobster had eaten them (they are common in the water at fish markets and are usually harmlessly boiled to death) and the lobster had crapped them out into Ms.DeLucci's vagina when she was torturing it. Maine mud shrimp only take two days to gestate and Ms. DeLucci was only four days away from getting her period. Doctors believe that at that point of her menstrual cycle, her womb was the perfect PH balance to grow these mud shrimp which are a much larger version of the popular "Sea Monkey" pets sold throughout the US. Overnight the eggs had hatched and the mud shrimp began doubling in size every ten minutes!!! You can imagine the pain she was in when she woke up that morning and gave birth to well over 1,000 mud shrimp in her toilet. I just felt the need to post here and if this is too extreme then Moderaters feel free to delete this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isukisuk Posted July 4, 2005 Share Posted July 4, 2005 Thats FOUL FOUL!!!! That psycho woman actually used a lobster!!! WTF!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lil' nine Posted July 4, 2005 Author Share Posted July 4, 2005 searously! i mean WTF theirs like little lobster hair at the end of there tail and shit EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW hiv aids i dont give a shit thats frolicking wrong Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UWEIUCFW Posted July 4, 2005 Share Posted July 4, 2005 Lol, I think its funnier then gross. Its actuly kind of fascinating... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genocide Posted July 4, 2005 Share Posted July 4, 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isukisuk Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 (edited) If i was a mod,i would of removed this... If i was a woman i would not miss my husband to have pleasure and use sea animals... Edited July 5, 2005 by isukisuk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ocelot Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 God damn, my stomache doesn't feel good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave1 Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 (edited) O come on genos showed me more horrifying things on ogrish.. This is nothing ...its kinda funny actually. Edited July 6, 2005 by Lionel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genocide Posted July 6, 2005 Share Posted July 6, 2005 Funny and completely fictitious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spaz The Great Posted July 6, 2005 Share Posted July 6, 2005 If i was a mod,i would of removed this... If i was a woman i would not miss my husband to have pleasure and use sea animals... <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I'm tired of everyone's "If I were a mod I'd..." because, well, you wouldn't. This has every bit of right to stay as any other topic. It's purely humor and if you can't accept or see it as that, then click the "Back" button on your browser. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Airashii Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 Argh, I didn't really see what was funny about it tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 Lol at the woman for feeling the need to use a live sea creature as opposed to something more usual. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris82 Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 Seriously. That was hilarious. Seriously woman, use a freakin dildo/vibrator/your hand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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