crazychicken17

I voted null. It doesn't matter who becomes president, we'll always be spending ridiculous amounts of money on completely trivial things, being annoyed by questionable political decisions, and generally unhappy with the way the world is run. Plus, I'm English, and below the voting age, so my opinions are officially worthless.

Pagan, please don't post in the topic if you're only betting on the slots. We don't want this topic to get any more clogged up than we have to. Biggy, what about comments and suggestions? Should they be PMed or posted here?

So, every time I deposit or Withdraw money, I'm pushing back the time I get interest by 24 hours? Boy, does that suck.

I'm not sure if I have an up-to-date pic... *searches* Shit... I went on holiday last week, my dad took about fifty photos, I saw him uploading them, and now I can't find them! And the only other decent pic is a bitmap, and I can't be bothered to convert the file...

Er... because he thinks that his first name is 'Sod off', because when he was a kid, people always said to him 'Sod off, Baldrick'. 'Sod off' meaning 'bugger off' or 'get lost'?

Yes, of course there'll be a rescue attempt. Not yet though, because for once, I have a basic idea of what I'm gonna write before I start writing it .

Ooh, big plot event, this one. Expect a gunfight soon, all I need to do is think of a viable reason to have one... Part 15: Banned. Steve sat on the sofa, in too much pain to sleep, too tired to do anything else. He glanced around the room uneasily, at the two men who seemed to be ignoring his presence. He coughed slightly. They didn’t move. He coughed again. “Er…” he said, uncomfortably, “Where’s Vercetti?” For the first time in an hour, the men seemed to notice him. The glanced in his direction, looking annoyed. “He’s coming,” one of them grunted, then turned back to his magazine. Steve sighed. Vercetti marched towards the building, flinging open the doors with a crash, turning a few heads in the process. He whipped out his mobile, and punched in a number. It was answered almost immediately. “Hello, Ken Rosenburg, Attorney, how can I-“ “Ken, it’s Tommy.” “Wha-? Oh, Hi Tommy, how ya’ doing, I-“ “Shut up and listen. I want you to call Avery, Phil, Cam, Mercedes… everyone, tell them to pack their bags and meet me at Escobar by Two O’ clock, you got that?” “Yeah, I-“ “You screw around, you get left behind, so-“ “Wha, wait, wait, wait, Tommy. What’s happening.” “We’re moving, Ken! We’re getting out of this city, we’re getting out of this state, shit, I might even leave this whole country.” “Wha- why?” “Havn’t you heard? My frolicking mansion is now nothing but a pile of rubble infested with cops!” “Oh, right, yeah, but-“ “No buts, Ken!” “But! But Diaz... they’ll be chasing him, not us.” Vercetti lowered his voice and leant against a wall. “Listen, Ken, they may start off looking for Diaz, but sooner or later, it’ll all come crashing down on me. They’ll recover documents from my desk, they’ll trace my men back to me… I’ve gotta get away. I can hear police sirens now, for all I know, they could be coming for me! I’ve been in jail once, I’m not going back. No amount of bribes can save my ass from a jury now. I’ve packed, I’ve prepared… the leader of the Haitians, in the last half-hour, I’ve moved heaven and Earth to track him. We could have found James Poulet before now, its just that we never made any effort. Now, I’ve killed three of his top men and hacked into the police database to track him down, and now I’ve left him sprawled over his own sofa in a pool of blood, because, if there’s one thing I had to do before I got thrown into jail, It was to make sure that that bastard wasn’t alive to see it. Now, I-“ The door was thrown open again. A man shouted. Tommy dropped the phone, the man was calling his name. Abandoning all thought of self-preservation, he wildly ran towards the stairs, but a bystander, seeing what was happening went to trip him up. He didn’t fall, but he stumbled for a few vital seconds, but that was all they needed, and they slammed him to the floor. Something cold and metallic fell on his wrists, and he heard a loud click, then there was a hand on his shoulder, and he was rolled over, face up. He stared up. A smirking cop with short, blonde hair and glasses stared back at him. “Tommy Vercetti,” said James Reed, “you’re under arrest.”

Well, at 13, I'll be leaving primary school at the end of this year. I won the first half of a Continuation Scholarship (one of the biggest ones) two years ago, and I'm doing the second half this May. The upcoming ones are bigger, harder, and more important than the first half... I'm nervous... Whether I get the full scholarship or not, I'll be going to St. Edward's in Oxford.

Footsteps running through the glade... Lock away your son and daughter... Beware the golden flashing blade... Or, you will end up shorter. Blackadder! This show is abso-fuckin'-lutely brilliant! Shame they only did 26 episodes though... most BBC sitcoms are really short. The Vicar of Dibley's quite good, too. I havn't really seen much of the other ones...

Sam, you're getting ripped off charging $25. It effectively means people get sigs for free, because people get $25 for posting here to make a request!

Because we're active.

For those of you who care, this story is now being posted at www.fanfiction.net. For those of you that don't: Part 14: Search Fingers wore themselves away at the keyboards, searching for every last scrap of information. Then, the saving grace arrived. “Sir, Vercetti used his credit card within the past five minutes.” “Where?” “Ammu-Nation, West Island, sir.” To the casual observer, the only remaining sign of Vercetti’s injuries was a very slight limp, a black eye, and a small cut on his face. He had changed his clothes, and tended to most of his cuts and scratches, but there was not much he could do about the black eye. However, he reasoned that it wouldn’t be a very big head turner. This was Vice City, after all. Behind Ammu-Nation, a speedboat was waiting, moored to a large rock. Vercetti climbed down into it, and started on to his next destination. He could hear police sirens, but he was confident that they weren’t for him. That was the beauty of it. The police chased Ricardo Diaz’s ghost, while he raked in the profits. “Vercetti left here just before we arrived, over.” came the crackled radio report. “Damn… okay, we’re working on it.” From the boatyard, it was just a thirty second drive to Sunshine Autos. “Intel recommends you check the Malibu Club, East Island. Records show he comes there at nine-hundred hours every day to collect his revenue. Over.” “I read you, we’re on our way.” Vercetti stared through the glass at the mindless citizens bumbling about around his car showroom. He then ambled down the ramp, and found himself in his garage. A man was waiting for him. “Hello, Phil,” Vercetti mumbled, walking to one of the garages. “Hello, Sir. Er… what happened? Your eye?” “I fell,” said Vercetti nonchalantly as the garage door rumbled open. “Really?” “I fell,” said Vercetti, almost angrily. He then disappeared into the garage. An engine rumbled. Then he appeared again in a white Infernus. “Attention all units, Vercetti has been sited at Sunshine Autos!” “May I ask what’s happening?” said Phil. “ what happened last night at the Estate? How did the mission go? Y’know, the ‘big mission’, where I gave that guy Joey our best car? And-“ “Shut up Phil. I’ll tell you what’s happening. I’m leaving this frolicking state, that’s what.” Vercetti opened the glove compartment and took something out. “It’s just I’ve got some stuff do first.”

Er, roundabout.... now. Part 13: Spam A pile of heavy papers landed on Reed’s desk with a resounding thud. Reed glanced up and silently cursed. “This is everything we’ve had on Diaz in the past two years,” announced the brash young officer who had just handed the papers to him. Reed put his pen down, and lifted up the first sheet. “And?” “Well, two main things. First thing: Two years ago, he was arrested on drug-related charges, but he had a convincing alibi and no charges were pressed. Second thing, and here’s the weird part: no-one’s heard anything from or about him in the past five months.” Reed glanced up, eyebrows raised. “Okay. Anything else I should know?” “Yes,” said the Officer, brandishing another wad of papers, although much thinner. Reed frowned at the sight of more paperwork. The Officer continued: “We’ve got the IDs on all of the bodies. Twelve of them are from Little Haiti, and are members of the suspected criminal group known as simply ‘the Haitians’. The rest were under the payroll of Diaz.” “I see.” “Yes, but here’s the funny thing; since Diaz’s supposed disappearance, their paycheques have actually been coming from a Mr. Thomas Vercetti.” Slowly, with the uncertainty of a small child taking his first steps, his head swimming and his pulse racing, Steve climbed back to consciousness. The meaningless blare coming from all around him gradually became recognisable noises, with the sound of man talking from somewhere near him. He pried his eyes open. A blue and white blur was sitting in the corner of the room, holding a grey blur to its ear. Steve shook his head, and the blur became Tommy Vercetti on his mobile phone, his clothes torn, and every inch of his body bruised and beaten. As his thoughts caught up with him, Steve realised that he wasn’t in a much better state. Then, soon after his thoughts had caught up, his senses caught up too like a punch in the face, and he suddenly became aware of just how bad a state he was in, through intense pain coming from nowhere in particular. He raised his head. He could have sworn he heard bones grinding as he did so. “Where am I?” he rasped. Vercetti hung up. “The Boatyard.” “On West Island?” “How many other boatyards are there?” Steve was in agonising pain, but that didn’t prevent him from smiling. Vercetti clearly hadn’t changed a bit. “How did we… the helicopter…” “The helicopter is at the bottom of the sea, about a mile south from here.” “Wha? So how did?” “I called some of my men; they took a boat out to meet us.” Steve suddenly forgot his pain and jumped to his feet. “Holy shit!” he exclaimed, limping around, frustrated. “I can’t be here… I have a job, I have a life, I-I can’t go to jail, I- holy shit, I killed someone… I killed someone… and, and Joey, what was he doing, I saw him, before I was called? And - Jesus, the police - they’ll be coming… and… oh my god, I’ve gotta get outta here…” He turned towards the exit. Vercetti was standing in his way. “You’re not going anywhere.” “Oh yes I frolicking am, I was supposed to be at work-“ he glanced at his watch. The hands weren’t turning. “Shit!” he screamed, and he unstrapped the watch, and threw it off the dock and into the sea, “Shit, I can’t believe it…”. He turned to Vercetti, “you owe me a new watch, okay? In fact, you owe me a helluva lot more, I’ve saved your life twice and I haven’t even had a thank you.” He took a threatening step towards Vercetti. “Jones, Carter!” cried Vercetti. “Take this man to my apartment at the Hyman Condo. Stay with him until I arrive.” “Can’t even remember my name…” murmured Steve angrily as a heavy hand fell on each of his shoulders. “See you in a few hours,” said Vercetti, walking, almost casually, towards a speedboat. He turned around. “Steve.”

Chic n' stew This ballgame's in the refrigerator, The door is closed, The lights are out, And the butter's getting hard. What a splendid pie Pizza Pizza pie Every minute every second Buy Buy Buy Buy Buy (x2) Pepperoni And green Peppers Mushrooms, olives, chives (x2) Need therapy, therapy, Advertising causes me therapy, therapy (x3) Advertising causes... (x2) What a splendid pie Pizza Pizza pie Every minute every second Buy Buy Buy Buy Buy (x2) Pepperoni Angry peppers Mushrooms, olives, chives Need therapy, therapy, Advertising causes me therapy, therapy (x2) Advertising causes... (x4) Advertisments got you on the run... (x6) What a splendid pie Pizza Pizza pie Every minute every second Buy Buy Buy Buy Buy (x2) Pepperoni Angry Peppers Mushrooms, olives, chives Need therapy, therapy, Advertising causes me therapy, therapy (x4) Advertising causes... (x5) Innervision [Well] I have a home, longing to roam I have to find you, I have to meet you Sanctum your face, slowing your pace I need your guidance, I need to seek my Innervision, Innervision My pupils dance, lost in a trance Your sacred silence, losing all violence Stars in their place, mirror your face I have to find you, I need to seek my Innervision, Innervision, Innervision It's never too late to re-invent the bicycle Spell brings forth energy and life giving you force It's never too late to re-invent the bicycle Spell brings forth energy and life giving you force Vision There's only one true path in life The road that leads to all leads to one There's only one true path in life The road that leads to all Innervision x5 Your sacred silence, losing all violence Bubbles Fish that don't drown Life in a bubble Jungle I wouldn't frown Not Short another chuckle Snake in the ground But I was in there for you Now leaving town Life in a bubble jungle Seeing you believing Us adhering we're the power struck Believing, then kneeling, appeasing the power struggle We're left with no arms right in the power struggle We're left with no arms right in the power struggle Wearing the crown Life in a bubble jungle Chasing a clown Not Short another Chuckle Snake in the ground But I was waiting for you Now we have found Life in a bubble jungle Seeing you believing Us adhering we're the power struck Believing, then kneeling, appeasing the power struggle We're left with no arms right in the power struggle We're left with no arms right in the power struggle left with no arms in the power struggle left with no arms in the power struggle May I remind you May I remind you May I remind you May I remind you May I remind you May I remind you May I remind you May I remind you May I remind you May I remind you May I remind you May I remind you Your life is in a bubble jungle Seeing you believing Us adhering we're the power struck Believing, then kneeling, appeasing the power struggle We're left with no arms right in the power struggle We're left with no arms right in the power struggle left with no arms in the power struggle left with no arms Right here in the power struggle. Boom! I've been walking through your streets Where all your money's earned Where all your building's crying And clueless neckties working Revolving fake lawn houses Housing all your fears Desensitized by TV Overbearing advertising God of consumerism And all your crooked pictures looking good Mirrorism Filtering information for the public eye Designed for profiteering Your neighbor, what a guy Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Every time you drop the bomb You kill the god your child has born Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Modern globalization Coupled with condemnations Unnecessary death Matador corporations Puppeting your frustrations With a blinded flag Manufacturing consent Is the name of the game The bottom line is money Nobody gives a gently caress! 4,000 hungry children leave us per hour from starvation While billions are spent on bombs Creating death showers Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Every time you drop the bomb You kill the god your child has born Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Why must we kill our own kind? Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Every time you drop the bomb You kill the god your child has born Boom! (X12) Every time you drop the BOOM! Nuguns And the little boy stared Into the eyes of the night Button collects price of his time Little girl glared Sheets of denial The bullet connects to the price of her crime What have we said Wasn’t it their bed What of our presence Haven’t we paid penance To the new guns Now the little boy sees Through the eyes of delight Levers erect note of his rhyme Little girl bled Sheets of the night The lovers connect to the price of his dime What have we said Wasn’t it their bed What of our presence Haven’t we paid penance To the new guns What have we said Wasn’t it their bed What of our presence Haven’t we paid penance What have we said Wasn’t it their bed What of our presence Haven’t we paid penance To the new guns, to the new guns Background: To the old gods and moved on To the old gods and moved on To the old gods and moved on TO YOU! ADD We fought your wars with all our hearts You've sent us back in body parts You took our wills with the truth you stole We offer prayers for your long lost soul The remainder is an unjustifiable, egotistical power struggle At the expense of the American dream, of the American dream Of the American We don't give a damn about your world With all your global profits And all your jeweled pearls We don't give a damn about your world Right now(x2) We don't give a gently caress about your world With all your global profits And all your jeweled pearls We don't give a gently caress about your world Right now(x4) There is no flag that is large enough To hide the shame of a man in cuffs You switched the signs, then you closed our blinds You changed the channel, then you changed our minds The remainder is an unjustifiable, egotistical power struggle At the expense of the American dream, of the American dream Of the American We don't give a damn about your world With all your global profits And all your jeweled pearls We don't give a damn about your world Right now(x2) We don't give a gently caress about your world With all your global profits And all your jeweled pearls We don't give a gently caress about your world Right now(x8) No flag large enough Shame on a man in cuffs They closed our blinds The remainder is an unjustifiable, egotistical power struggle At the expense of the American dream, of the American dream Of the American We don't give a damn about your world With all your global profits And all your jeweled pearls We don't give a damn about your world Right now(x2) We don't give a gently caress about your world With all your global profits And all your jeweled pearls We don't give a gently caress about your world Right now(x7) RIGHT N-N-N-NOW!!! Mr. Jack Hey Mister Jack Is that the mouth wash in your eyes? Hey Mister Jack Is that the cause of your suprise? Hey where you at? On the side of the freeway in the car Hey where you at? On the side of the freeway in the CARRR!! In the CARRR! On the side of a freeway in a... Hey Mister Jack Is that the trick of your disguise? Hey Mister Jack Is that the cause of your dimise? Hey where you at? On the side of a freeway in a car Hey where you at? On the side of a freeway in a CARRR!!! In a CARRR!!! On the side of the freeway in the CAR In the CARRR!!! On the side of a freeway in a... Wake up... 7 am morning came to take us away. Little men, big guns pointing it at our heads. 7 am morning came to take us away. Little men, big guns pointing it at OURRRR, HEADS At OURRRR, at our heads. YOUR LOVE FOR AMERICA YOUR LAND AMERICA PROTECTORS OF YOUR MIND LIGHTS ARE ON THE CRIME YOUR BOUT TO FACE UP TO A TEAM YOUR NOTHING LIKE ME! YOUR BOUT TO FACE UP TO A TEAM YOUR NOTHING LIKE ME! PUT YOUR HANDS UP, GET OUT OF THE CAR! PUT YOUR HANDS UP, GET OUT OF THE CAR! PUT YOUR HANDS UP, GET OUT OF THE CAR! gently caress YOU PIG!! gently caress YOU PIG!! gently caress YOU PIG!! gently caress YOU PIG!! PUT YOUR HANDS UP, GET OUT OF THE CAR! I-E-A-I-A-I-O Peter's pecker picked another pickle bearing pussy pepper Peter's pecker picked another pickle bearing pussy pepper why Meeting John at Dale's Junior, Winked an eye, and point a finger Meeting John at Dale's Junior, Winked an eye, and point a finger why A former cop, undercover, just got shot, now recovered A former cop, undercover, just got shot, now recovered why Fighting crime with a partner Lois Lane, Jimmy Carter Fighting crime with a partner Lois Lane, Jimmy Carter Woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo wow!!! I-E-A-I-A-I-O I-E-A-I-A-I-O WHY!!!! As we light up the sky!! Peter's pecker picked another pickle bearing pussy pepper Peter's pecker picked another pickle bearing pussy pepper why Meeting John at Dale's Junior, Winked an eye, and point a finger Meeting John at Dale's Junior, Winked an eye, and point a finger why A former cop, undercover, just got shot, now recovered A former cop, undercover, just got shot, now recovered why Fighting crime with a partner Lois Lane, Jimmy Carter Fighting crime with a partner Lois Lane, Jimmy Carter Woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo wow!!! I-E-A-I-A-I-O I-E-A-I-A-I-O WHY!!!! As we light up the sky!! I-E-A-I-A-I-O I-E-A-I-A-I-O WHY!!!! And we light up the sky!! Mind delusions Acquainted Bubbles Erotica Plutonium Wedding Rings Icicle Streatchings Bicycle Shoestrings, One Flag, Flaggy but one Painting The Paintings Of The Alive!! I-E-A-I-A-I-O I-E-A-I-A-I-O WHY!!!! As we light up the sky!! I-E-A-I-A-I-O I-E-A-I-A-I-O WHY!!!! As we light up the sky!! Er... gently caress this, I can't be bothered to cut and paste the rest. I'm sure someone else will give you the rest.

Mars Rover: The meteors that come in from really shallow angles, right from the sides, I shoot them, nothing happens.

Er, can't you just go to a site like and get the lyrics?

This movie looks amazing. I'm sure as hell gonna see it. Y'know, there's an island in the Canary Islands which suffers from frequent earthquakes, and scientists predict that if it has another earthquake, part of it will slide off into the sea, creating a 500m tidal wave (normal tidal waves are rarely bigger than 10m) that'll go right across the Atlantic, and hit the East coast of the Us, from New York to Miami, creating a situation not dissimilar to the one in that movie.

DON'T TYPE IN ALL CAPS. Anyway, you seem to have saved it as a Word document.

Thug, wtf has happened to you? Anyway, Pyro, how big is your screen? I have a 17" and I have no problems. EDIT: oops, sorry, my mistake, I was thinking of Moon Lander, not Mars Rover. Ah well. Mars Rover isn't that good anyway.

Well, I guess your first port of call would be Blotsort.com, which he is the webmaster of. Why isn't he active anymore? Hmm... Oh, right, yeah, the sig. It's alright. 7/10

Okay, in order of importance: Half-Life 2 (This one is so important it deserves to be written like that). GTA:SA (PS2 Version) Doom III (this looks amazing.) Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance 2 Far Cry (maybe) Er... and anything else that looks good and happens to come out at a time when I have some spare cash. Which isn't right now.

If we take something off, someone will get pissed off. Except Poker. That really does suck. It's just pure luck. And the Simpsons. That is very, very poor. Also, I managed to get three targets on Frogger (a fuckin' hard game), but when I clicked 'submit', it said I scored zero?

I can't see them. It looks like this: And yes, I have given them time to load, (I have broadband), and there's nothing when I move the cursor over where they should be. I'm sure they're very nice, though.

Okay, this is going off topic, everyone. Hey, I've just realised... although I can't see the banner, there's a small patch at the top of the page which, if I click on it, takes me to the sponsor. So, basically, to me the ad appears like a 64x64 blob which looks exactly the same as the rest of the forum background.

Oh dear, I think I've dug myself a hole here. I'm sure I'll be able to write my way out of it, though. Part 12: Supermod. Sergeant James Reed surveyed the wreckage. Men in white coats rushed around him, collecting all the evidence: and there was a lot of evidence to collect. Men in blue covered the isle in yellow tape, and what little spectators there had been were being hustled away. Those who actually lived in Starfish, however, stared, amazed, from their windows, and there was little the police could do about that. A loud, horrible hissing broke Reed’s train of thought, as firemen tried their best to extinguish the overpowering flames. And an officer with a clipboard was standing eagerly at his shoulder. “Hello, officer,” he snarled. “What have you got?” “Sir. This house belongs to a Mr. Ricardo Diaz. In the past three years, he’s been on trial twice for drug-related charges, but he was found innocent both times. His business includes-” “I know Mr. Diaz,” snapped Reed. Who hadn’t heard of Diaz, probably Vice City’s richest man? “Anything else? How about that helicopter?” “Yes, a blue Maverick. It took off from the roof, moments before the forces arrived.” It took Reed less than half-a-second to make the logical connection. “Obviously,” he said, “whoever was in that heli’ was trying to escape. From us. And, anything from forensics?” “Well, it’s too early at this stage, really. But from what the men were wearing, we can distinguish who was on what side.” “How d’you mean?” “Well, twelve of the bodies are black men, all wearing a distinct purple-and-white outfit. We could probably also find out more from the types of bullet used.” “That’s not important to me. I want to find out who the men where.” “Once again, it’s too early, sir.” Reed cursed, and dismissed the officer. He stared down at the scribblings in his notepad. They made little sense, and gave him no lead. He ripped off the page, and threw it into the smouldering fire, before going to interview the head of forensics. The Maverick wobbled precariously, its engine sputtering as it frantically tried to suck in what little fuel remained. As two semi-frozen figures were pulled up into the waiting Speeder, the final ounce of oil caught light, and the Maverick gave up the fight and started to fall. It crashed into the water with an alarming speed, but the Speeder, and the two men it had just rescued, was already long gone.