WRX22B1998 Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 NEVER SAY TO A COP 1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People? 4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job! 5. Are You Andy or Barney? 6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer. 7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you? 8. I pay your salary! 9. Gee, officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too! 10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does. 11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are. 12. When the Officer says "Gee. Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Urbanoutlaw Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 Wait for a heavy rain storm & run a stop sign. When the cop pulls you over, try to stop in a big puddle & when the cop asks "Do you know why I pulled you over?" respond w/ "Yeah, you know why I ran that stop sigh?". They just love that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tilly Posted December 13, 2007 Share Posted December 13, 2007 id do the "i saw an alien, better get to the rescue!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ivan Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 You can do this: Cop: you can't talk on the phone when you are driving Man: I was just calling you pretty stupid... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Urbanoutlaw Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 Another one they just love (works w/ 2 cops) Pull up to them & yell out your window "HOW'D YOU 'N YER GIRLFRIEND LIKE TO RACE ME TO THE CITY JAIL!" You will have their undivided attention. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NSanityHD Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 Stupid Cops. I'd like to say them lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alkali64 Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 Cop: You do not need to say anything, anything you do say... Man: On the way to the station let's get a twelve pack. Lulz... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NSanityHD Posted December 15, 2007 Share Posted December 15, 2007 I got arrested at school once, for criminal damage and assault on Staff and 3 Cops, this black walked up to me and said: Did you do all this? I said: yea, black! What you gonna do about it, bitch ass officer?! LMFAO!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Highwire Posted December 16, 2007 Share Posted December 16, 2007 Cop:You were going 100 mph Man: You were going about 115 mph to catch up so who are you mad at now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TM™ Posted December 16, 2007 Share Posted December 16, 2007 Female Cop: Put your hands were I can see 'em. Me: Uhh, Why? It's a free word so I can touch your tities! bitch!! *Me fucks Female Officer* Me: Now that's a good fuck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gycu Posted December 16, 2007 Share Posted December 16, 2007 (edited) Kinda off topic but here's some advice ... Never go with your family in your car 'cuz this might happen to you So a guy drives with his family in their car ... The police pulls him over and tells him he'd get $100 because he was cought wearing a seat-belt whils other drivers weren't wearing it ... Cop: Watcha' gonna' do with this money? Driver:*burp* I'm gonna' buy my Drivers License ... *burp* Drivers Wife: Mind him, officer he's drunk ... *cop calls for backup* Drivers dad, from the back-seat: I told you not to drive an stolen car !!! *cop calls for more backup* Driver's brother, getting out of the car's trunk: Have we crossed the border yet ? 'cuz it's damn hot in here ... Yes, it's a Romanian joke ... Edited December 16, 2007 by Gycu Brun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connor Posted December 16, 2007 Share Posted December 16, 2007 "Hey officerrr!, fancy some whiskey!?" *Pops head out of car window* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirty Harry Posted December 16, 2007 Share Posted December 16, 2007 "Yes Mr. Officer, this is 100 per cent pure, the finest coke from Columbia." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Urbanoutlaw Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 Female officer "Anything you say will be held against you in a court of law." URBANOUTLAW "Tits, tits, tits." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GiiBz Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 *blow a rasberry and put two fingers up*JOG ON! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connor Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 *PFFFTTT* "Joogg onnn!" "Is there a problem Officer? I was only going 130 MPH?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gycu Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 *a bike goes with 250 mph on a motorway* Driver: Officer, was I driving to fast ? Officer: you were flying to slow ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrLlamaLlama Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 'I was gonna be a cop.... then i decided not to drop out of high school' 'I though you had to pass a fitness test to be a cop' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gycu Posted December 18, 2007 Share Posted December 18, 2007 (edited) ' Hey officer, borrow me those juicy donuts ... ' Female Officer 'What were you thinking?' Me: 'Wet Dreams With You...' Edited December 18, 2007 by Gycu Brun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barcafc Posted December 23, 2007 Share Posted December 23, 2007 cool list, nice one lombz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hunter88888 Posted December 23, 2007 Share Posted December 23, 2007 Female officer "Anything you say will be held against you in a court of law."URBANOUTLAW "Tits, tits, tits." NICEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
V Posted December 23, 2007 Share Posted December 23, 2007 You've got the wrong twin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gycu Posted December 23, 2007 Share Posted December 23, 2007 (edited) Officer: Are you nutts ? Me: Are those peanuts ? Edited December 23, 2007 by Gycu Brun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hunter88888 Posted December 27, 2007 Share Posted December 27, 2007 I'll trade you that badge for some heroin or cigars or Ks - finest Cuba has to offer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitsune Inferno Posted December 30, 2007 Share Posted December 30, 2007 I was high, he was drunk! He was speeding; now we're fucked! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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