Steven Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 TOP 5 SMART ASS ANSWERS FOR 2004... (according to Reader's Digest) WARNING: tHE FOLOWING SMART ASS ANSWERS ARE SO SMART ASS THAT THERE SO FUNNY THAT THERE SMART ASS. IF YOU DIDN'T GET THIS DON'T BE WORRIED BECAUSE I DON'T GET ANYTHING I TYPE. [/trying-to-be-funny] Smart Ass Answer #5: A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat....she said,"Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub." Smart Ass Answer #4: A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store,but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead." Smart Ass Answer #3: The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket. Smart Ass Answer #2: A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas." AND NOW........FOR THE.......... #1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2004.... A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taime Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 loved them i really loved that i ran out of gas while trying to deliver this bridge really good i want so more smart ass answers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plo Koon Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 Those are some funny smart ass answers Steven. I agree with Taime, the truck one seemed to be the funniest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven Posted November 15, 2005 Author Share Posted November 15, 2005 Yea that one cracked me up. About the speeding one, i might try to pull that off one day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spaz The Great Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 That last one killed me. I love teachers with a sense of humor. They were all funny, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akuma Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 Yeah, I liked that one about the exam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sabin Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 Thats pretty funny, I liked the cop one, and the bridge one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Righty Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 5, 4,3 and 1 are the best. I've seen 2 before. 1 is definitely the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C.O.D Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 The Speeding one (with the cop) was the funniest, and then the Truck one. The truck one is not the funniest one, but it is the most BADASS answer I have ever heard! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven Posted November 16, 2005 Author Share Posted November 16, 2005 The Speeding one (with the cop) was the funniest, and then the Truck one. The truck one is not the funniest one, but it is the most BADASS answer I have ever heard! ehh define how you said badass. Its SMARTASS BTW I'm not gonna take the risk of pulling #1 off Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Airashii Posted November 16, 2005 Share Posted November 16, 2005 Yeah, the last one was great, nice one, posting those was a great idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gta-player Posted November 17, 2005 Share Posted November 17, 2005 Lmao at the last one. This was definetly the bright side of my day, as it was pretty shitty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven Posted November 17, 2005 Author Share Posted November 17, 2005 (edited) I woke up this morn. pissed so i came and read these and lmao. I had a good day BTW glad to hear everyone likeing the topic Edited November 17, 2005 by Steven Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taime Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 do smartass answers for 2005 next then we can all enjoy them more ps do a few more about 10-15 would do it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven Posted November 20, 2005 Author Share Posted November 20, 2005 do smartass answers for 2005 next then we can all enjoy them more ps do a few more about 10-15 would do it it was in a magazine, i wish they would have posted more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YoungCarl Posted December 16, 2005 Share Posted December 16, 2005 Hahaha the last one with the teacher was just hilarious, great stuff. you sohuld really do Smart Ass Answers for 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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