Chrisman Posted September 26, 2007 Share Posted September 26, 2007 A week ago my farts smelled so bad, that I had to stay at least 10 meters away from people, or they would start complaining. The farts kept coming and wouldn't stop. Ever. I was really embarrased and started looking on the internet for solutions. Untill today, where I had a strong urge to take a shit, and went to the toilet. It was a normal toilet visit, hopefully with the same amount of shit as always. But that wasn't true. It started out with the normal shit, but then began losing it's form, and just fell out of my ass like a waterfall of shit. I sat there, for at least 15 minutes, until it finally stopped. I came out with a satisfied smile, and a very sore, almost skinless, ass. Right now my farts don't smell at all, and no one complains about any smell anymore. So it's a win win situation(except for my ass). The farts are now loud, and with longer intervals. Day 2: It was night, I was in my bed, and felt a fart coming. I hadn't smelled my farts for a long time, so I took my hand down to my still sore ass, and farted. I closed my hand firmly, and took it up to my nose. I opened my hand again and the smell spread out in my nostrils. It smelled like a normal fart, and I fell asleep satisfied. I wake up early, and meet early in school. Last 45 minutes of class I made a huge fart, but surprisingly, it didn't smell like anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
V Posted September 26, 2007 Share Posted September 26, 2007 I'm not sure what you want us to say now... erm... lol? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott. Posted September 26, 2007 Share Posted September 26, 2007 Randomness FTW? Lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gycu Posted September 26, 2007 Share Posted September 26, 2007 Kill me now please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrisman Posted September 26, 2007 Author Share Posted September 26, 2007 Randomness FTW?Lol. True story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrLlamaLlama Posted September 26, 2007 Share Posted September 26, 2007 I fucking lol'd at the way you described that. the 'waterfall of shit' line reduced me to tears... Keep us posted on your fart composition. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitsune Inferno Posted September 26, 2007 Share Posted September 26, 2007 Dude, that same thing happens to me every two weeks. Well, except for the fact that my ass has adapted to the godawful smell of my own farts and shit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thomas. Posted September 26, 2007 Share Posted September 26, 2007 I have to lol at this. I suppose this happens to everyone during their lifetime. Lets just hope it goes soon and if it does stop, you can avoid further embarrassment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
V Posted September 26, 2007 Share Posted September 26, 2007 Well he's obviously not embarrassed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Urbanoutlaw Posted September 27, 2007 Share Posted September 27, 2007 Okay, so it's the US Midwest in the mid '80s. I was getting a lot of my life experience & at the time I was cutting firewood for $20 a day + meals. Vietnamese refugees were pouring into the area & decent jobs were scarce (I've grown up a little since then). One day after me & my partner spent the day freezing off our butts & breaking our backs, we hit a cheap "all you can eat" place. We sit down to relax & eat our meal when 8 of these guys come in in new clothes & being loud & a bit obnoxious. Finally, my partner has had enough & decides to leave before he gets loud & obnoxious (he is a Vietnam vet & an ex Detroit biker, Hell's Angels had nothing on him). He says "I'll be in the f***ing truck!" & walks out. That's when it hit me. "Gimme a minute" I tell him as he walks away. What happened next was precision timing. At the right moment I got up & walked 10 steps toward the door (& the table these guys were sitting at). Just as I stepped by them I dropped a SBD (silent but deadly). I actually felt it roll down my leg, was pleasently surprised when I confirmed nothing solid came out. My partner was waiting for me by the door (he realized I was up to something) when it happened. (Bear in mind I don't speak Vietnamese, but this a short version of what I heard) "Hi-ya, hu-toO." "Hun-tau toy-ya" "TI-YA TU-TA!!" "DOY-YA-DUNG-DUNG-DUNG!!! It almost broke out into a fistfight, they were arguing over who farted. I got to the door & these guys were screaming at each other over it & my partner asked "What the hell did you DO!?" "Remember that thing I did earlier in the truck that you said you'd kill me if I ever did it again?" (at 70 MPH going down the road.) "YESS!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K9 Krew Posted September 27, 2007 Share Posted September 27, 2007 "waterfall of shit".......dear god that was soo funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmac Posted September 27, 2007 Share Posted September 27, 2007 My farts are silent so i don't mind how much they stink, Because i just blame other people lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spaz The Great Posted September 27, 2007 Share Posted September 27, 2007 Mine only smell really bad when I DON'T want them to. Sometimes I want them to just for lulz and Chestnut's reaction, and I'm all like, "WTF!? How did that have no smell!??" Oh well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nate10 Posted September 27, 2007 Share Posted September 27, 2007 JEEZ, that like made my day, that made me smile , and yes. Waterfall of shit was pretty hilarious. Well I'm happy your farts aren't disgusting anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Lord Posted September 27, 2007 Share Posted September 27, 2007 Ha Ha Funny SHit! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrisman Posted September 27, 2007 Author Share Posted September 27, 2007 Day 2: It was night, I was in my bed, and felt a fart coming. I hadn't smelled my farts for a long time, so I took my hand down to my still sore ass, and farted. I closed my hand firmly, and took it up to my nose. I opened my hand again and the smell spread out in my nostrils. It smelled like a normal fart, and I fell asleep satisfied. I wake up early, and meet early in school which is where I am now. Will update with more farts and smells. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slyde Posted September 27, 2007 Share Posted September 27, 2007 Lick your hands too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmac Posted September 27, 2007 Share Posted September 27, 2007 Lick your hands too Haha lmao! Feral lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrisman Posted September 27, 2007 Author Share Posted September 27, 2007 Lick your hands too Farts don't taste like anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmac Posted September 27, 2007 Share Posted September 27, 2007 Lick your hands too Farts don't taste like anything. I thought when you farted it let out particles of shit lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huckleberry Pie Posted September 27, 2007 Share Posted September 27, 2007 Nice; I could have farted that badly... Give me some food and I'll do that...just joking! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrisman Posted September 27, 2007 Author Share Posted September 27, 2007 The my new farts aren't as rotten as the old ones, so I doubt they would taste like anything. 1k posts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huckleberry Pie Posted September 27, 2007 Share Posted September 27, 2007 The my new farts aren't as rotten as the old ones, so I doubt they would taste like anything.1k posts. Have you tried lighting them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmac Posted September 27, 2007 Share Posted September 27, 2007 Haha yea if you light them put it in Youtube Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrisman Posted September 27, 2007 Author Share Posted September 27, 2007 Don't feel like burning my ass, sry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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